Can Divorce Take A Toll ?

Some current findings about marriage and the effects of divorce might be quite revealing. Tonight we will look at some research conducted in July of this year that relates to the effects of divorce—and it’s not just centered on broken hearts and broken promises.

Tell us a little about the findings.
• University of Chicago study reveals that those who divorce are at risk for long-lasting effects on mental and physical health
• Johns Hopkins study found that divorced or widowed people have 20% more chronic health issues (diabetes, cancer, heart disease), than married people
• Divorced people have 23% more mobility limitations such as climbing stairs or walking down the block
• People who are divorced have a poorer rate of health than those of the same age

Recent statistics suggest that over half of all marriages end in divorce, so it seems this could be a dramatic effect on most of the American population?
• We know divorce is extremely stressful and can be emotionally, physically and financially devastating
• But we also know some important trends that may explain some things. People who are married tend to check on each other’s needs and go to the doctor, dentist or deal with medical issues more quickly (colonoscopy, flu shots, etc)
• Divorce may effect financial status which may effect access to health care and stress related illnesses

You’ve mentioned some dramatic effects of divorce, are there some things we can do for ourselves if we ARE facing a divorce?
• Seek professional counseling to deal with divorce adjustment issues (loss, grief, adjustment financially, self esteem etc)
• Reach out and stay connected. Relationships are key to good mental and physical health. This is not the time to isolate
• Focus on the basics: Eat healthful foods, get plenty of sleep, exercise, make time for leisure
• Make a commitment to see this as a time to care and nurture yourself. Take time to discover a new path and a healthy lifestyle plan

Letting Go of Your College Freshman

Walking a fine line between interest and intrusion? The last two weeks have marked the transition of college students leaving their homes and moving to college campuses across the country. For many parents this is the first exposure to “letting go” not only psychologically but also physically. It is the time for many of us to learn to guide and support our sons and daughters from a distance.


Recently journalists have focused on some of the concerns parents of college students--and most specifically freshmen. Are there are notable trends?
· Parents frustration about their inability to gain access to information from colleges. (Note the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act of l974)

· Colleges are keeping parents in touch with newsletters, sending newspapers to parent’s residences, trying to get them involved in college events, setting up web sites for commonly asked questions and answers.

We have talked about tips of getting ready for sending your son or daughter to college-- now that they are on campus any suggestions for parents?
· Help your child with problem solving (now is the time to use key phrases like “it sounds like you have some concerns, what are you going to do about it” “What ideas do you have to address this problem?” “Perhaps you should try working on it for a few days and if you can’t find a solution we could talk about it in a couple of days”
· State your concerns (it is important that you be honest and tell your child your concerns, whether it is about their lack of studying, or concerns with them drinking or partying. It is important to make a point without lecturing and state your concerns openly.
· Don’t overburden with your emotions (the transition is difficult for them also-- it is important to find someone to discuss your feelings with and let them know you care, but not that you can’t survive without them
· Take advantage of e-mail (what a wonderful way to dialogue with your child. You can both connect when you find free time and it is much cheaper than phone service, and of course, much faster than snail-mail)
· Find a time to connect (but for those of us who love hearing our child’s voice it is great to find a mutually agreeable night for calls. Many parents typically use Sunday nights as check-in nights)

Can the way you put paper tell you something about relationships?

Here’s our self-discovery question. You have a single sheet of paper and a pair of scissors. You are asked to cut the paper… which way would you cut the paper?
1. A clean cut straight down the middle

2. A line curving back and forth several times

3. A jagged-edged cut

4. A single gently rounded curve.

Cutting of a relationship is somewhat like cutting a piece of paper. Some cut things off and some people choose to be creative and don’t choose the clean cut.

1. A clean cut: When you end things in a relationship, you really end it. You believe this is the best way to handle endings and you apply this strategic precision to all parts of your life

2. Line curving back and forth. You have a hard time with decisions and worry about people getting hurt or angry. Putting off the decisions makes it more difficult for you.

3. A jagged edge. When you end a relationship you tend to tear it to shreads. You don’t burn bridges… you blow them up.

4. A single gently rounded curve. You are a romantic and an optimist. It’s hard for you to end the relationships.

How accurate are these projective self-discovery inventories?
· These self-discovery tests are a way to learn a little bit about yourself and some are more accurate than others.
· Generally, those of us in the mental health professions use projective inventories that have been tested by great numbers of people to insure their accuracy.
· Therapists view these inventories combined with other information or other to ensure their accuracy.
· But, these projective self discovery inventories are an interesting beginning point for discussion and insights.

Could a Pet Help Your Health?

Techniques such as play, art, and music therapy have been recently added to therapist’s toolbox to work with clients facing depression. But now, four-legged friends have been added to many therapy offices, nursing homes, and hospitals in an effort to aid patients and clients.

Research shows that pets are great for seniors. One study looked at blood pressure related to pet owners—explain.
· A study of health patients showed that people over 40 who own pets had lower blood pressure than people who did not have pets.

· Another study showed that talking to pets decreases blood pressure.



What are some of the benefits of pets for seniors?
In a study of over 1000 Medicare patients, even the most highly stressed dog owners in the study had 21 % fewer physician contacts than non-dog owners

What are 6 major reasons for seniors to have pets?
· Pets give us unconditional support, undivided loyalty and devotion, acceptance

· Sense of security (trust someone is always around)

· Pets are friends (helps with loneliness)

· Pets ease loss ( people with pets are less likely to experience deterioration in health following stressful events)

· Seniors become more active (seniors go for more walks and generally more action than those without pets

· Take better care of themselves (generally seniors take better care of their pet and themselves when they have something to care for) Additionally, those seniors who have pets, tend to have higher self esteem than those who do not own pets.


SOUNDS LIKE LOTS OF REASONS TO GO OUT A GET A NEW LITTLE PET!

Can Your Mental Health Be Effected By Lack Of Vacations?

American employees are working longer and taking fewer days of vacation, especially compared to our European counterparts. Recent statistics suggest that we are taking fewer vacations and working harder because many of us fear we might be laid off or that the workload will be too over-whelming when we return. Tonight we will look at how our mental health might be effected and some tips for survival.



How do American's vacation days compare to European workers?
*American's as a whole have 16 days of vacation, but generally only take 14 of those days each year.
*Italians average 42 days of vacation
* The French 37 days
* The Germans 35 days
*The industrious Japanese get 25 paid days vacations and work 100 hours per year less than Americans.


What are the possible effects of not taking vacations?
Vacation starvation, as it is called, can lead to workers who are disgruntled, stress related illnesses such as stomach problems, back aches, etc. Other problems include family tension, and an increase in addictions.



What are some of the reasons for American's taking less vacation time?
1. Overwork ethic- Americans define themselves by their job and our 24/7 technology keeps us tied to our jobs.

2. Guilt and fear-American's tend to fear guilty about leaving their jobs, especially when times are tough in the economy. Other's fear they might lose their job if they take time off, or perhaps lose a promotion.


What are some means of coping with vacation starvation?
1. Take frequent, but shorter vacations ( 4 day weekends)

2. Trade vacation time for pay decreases (29% of American's say they'd trade a pay raise for more vacation time)

3. Use your weekends as time for yourself and family vs. spending the weekend working on things from the office.

4. Learn some stress management techniques from a mental health professional.

The deadliest day for Suicides

Some surprise findings came out this week related to suicide. Tonight we break some of the myths that surround the topic and will bring you some information that might change everything you ever thought about suicide.


You have some interesting information to share related to the “deadiest” day of the week related to suicide. What do new studies reveal?
• Songs always talk about Monday blues and we typically have thought that suicide rates are the highest on Mondays
• A 5-year study done at the University of California points a finger at Wednesdays being the day with the highest rate of suicide.
• 25% of suicides occur on Wednesdays compared to 14% on Mondays and Saturdays, and suicide rates do down dramatically on Thursdays having the lowest rate of 11% of all suicides

Why do they think this might be true?
• The researchers believe that we are not as isolated as we once were during the weekends due to the internet, text messaging and cell phones
• People become more stressed on their jobs and by mid week their “co-workers get on their nerves” or the stress is just too much for them.

Were there any other findings of interest?
• We used to believe that there was a seasonal component to suicide rates and that winters had the highest rates of suicide. Once again, with the increase in connectivity due to technology, people are more connected and suicide rates are now a little higher in the summer than in the winter.

What are some suggestions if you believe someone is suicidal?
• Take all threats seriously. There is a myth that if people talk about it, they aren’t serious. Studies indicate that more than 75% of all completed suicides did say or do something prior to their death to let people know about their suicidal thoughts.
• Remember this is a cry for help. Be willing to tell someone, or take the person to the emergency room, or tell them you will go with them to therapy
• Don’t keep the secret. Make sure you do something to let others know such as calling the Call for Help number at 673-7373
• Call a professional therapist if you or someone you love is depressed. Remember that depression is quite treatable. 75% of people notice relief after 6-8 therapy sessions

Pottermania-- What Harry Can Teach Us About Ourselves

Perhaps you have noticed that HE is everywhere. You see clips of him on the internet, on television, and the newspaper is filled with information about his adventures. Yes, it is almost time for the much expected new installment of Harry Potter. With the release of film six in a few days, soon everyone will be talking about Harry.

What is the draw that captivates so many?
· Aside for the amazing story line, Harry Potter captivates so many because it is not only the classic story of good vs. evil, but it is a magical story of personal growth & empowerment in the face of adversity. Despite the losses experienced by the young Harry (death of his parents), he is achieves greatness in part due to love, nurturing, the development of his own inner strength.


From a psychological perspective, what does Harry Potter teach us?
· We all hold inner strength: He is the part of us, which is buried deep inside locked deep inside our soul. Harry is the child in us that holds the power…the potential…the purpose…the passion! We just need to look within to find our strength and believe in ourself.

· Fearlessness: Harry is the part of us that doesn’t fear what others will think. He is the one who knows he must face his fear and his demons and moves forward.

· Trust in our abilities: Harry is the part of us that believes we can do anything and trusts we hold the magic to make it happen.

· Self Esteem: Harry sees himself as capable, as trustworthy, as honorable, as dedicated, as intelligent, as athletic, as scholarly, and worthy of being a wizard.


Are there some things WE can learn about self esteem building from Harry Potter?
Here are some suggestions:
1. Write down all your positives on a sheet a paper (and ignore all the chatter in your head that judges what you write down).

2. Make a list of the amazing things you have accomplished

3. Make a list of the “monsters” (the adversity and challenges) you have conquered.

4. Create a list of the magical things you have created in your life… the people you have helped… the ways you have made a difference.

5. Become your own cheerleader. Speak of your accomplishments and

talk yourself “up” instead of tearing yourself down.

6. Investigate your positives, search out your talents, reach for your dreams, trust your heart, believe your brain, and make decisions that make your soul sing.