Apologies

You say you are sorry, but do you really mean it? Does it sound like you are apologizing but the receiver says forget it? Well, tonight we will look at six types of apologies, and how to really mean it when you say you are sorry.

What’s some general information about apologies that we should know?
• Canadian study showed that we offer up 4 apologies a week
• 22% of our apologies go to strangers
• 11% to our significant others
• 7% to family members
• 46% to strangers
• and women offer up more apologies than men

What are the different types of apologies?
1. The insincere one: This is an apology that is made in word only and used to manipulate someone. “Sorry to do this to you.”
2. Regret it now- This apology is one that comes days late or given for something done long ago. “Wow, I realize NOW that I hurt you.”
3. The “Ifer” This is used when you just want to appease someone and you don’t know what you did wrong (or maybe don’t care). “I’m sorry if I hurt you somehow.”
4. The defender- This is a mixed message that generally defends the action. “I’m sorry, BUT…”
5. The strategic one-Offered up to end a fight, stop the discussion or to stop the other person from hurting. This is generally the keep the peace apology “Hey, I’m sorry, let’s just move on…”
6. The sincere apology- This is a meaningful, honest apology in which you have an UNDERSTANDING, ARE REGRETFUL, AND KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HURT SOMEONE. “I hurt you and I won’t let this happen again.”

We all make mistakes, but with the sincere apology it sounds as if there are some important elements to making amends. Can you explain?
• A real apology shows remorse—a true statement of being sorry
• A real apology shows that you understand what was the wrongdoing and accept full responsibility for your action
• A real apology admits that you have hurt or harmed someone
• A real apology asks for forgiveness and offers way in which you will change
• A real apology is heart felt and something that will be honored with time and action