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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Love and intimacy

It’s the month of love. Cupids and arrows fill the air, but we know that over 50% of all marriages fail, so tonight we’ll focus on ways to enhance relationships to increase the statistical likelihood of making your relationship fulfilling and enduring.

What do some of the new studies show related to love and marriage?

• 50 % of first marriages end in divorce
• 2/3 of all second marriages end in divorce
• 75% of all third marriages end in divorce

Why do so many marriages fail?
• Statistics shows that we enter relationships with poor skills for maintaining relationships
• People need to learn “how” to love each other
• Lasting marriages involve commitment, communication, and accommodation

You’ve talked about various studies, related to why relationships fail, but what do studies show are the proven building blocks in a couple’s intimacy?
• Studies at Stanford University show that the simple act of spending quality time together and talking enhances intimacy
• Humor- research shows that partners who make each other laugh are happier, in fact, it also shows that women typically search out men who make them laugh
• Doing something new. A Florida State University study shows that people who do new things, creating adventures together heightens couple’s intimacy and vulnerability with each other
• Multiple research studies show that practicing gratitude and kindness in relationships enhances intimacy and bonding. Kindness, accommodation and forgiveness are three keys to strong couples.
• Commitment. Purdue University studies show that those who believe that their partner’s commitment is unbreakable have stronger relationships and increased intimacy.
• Taking control. Partners who really work on enhancing their relationships on a continuous basis, and who indicate that working things vs evading problems have more enduring relationships and those in which they feel will end in continued success.

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