Importance of mother-son relationships

A new study confirms that emotional well-being is enhanced by a strong relationship between mother and son.

The study notes:
Dr. Pasco Fearon said: “The central question we posed was whether attachment insecurity was associated with behavior problems across all the studies conducted to date. The results showed quite clearly that the answer to this question is a firm yes.

“More specifically, our analysis showed that children with insecure attachments to their mothers, particularly boys, had significantly more behavioral problems, even when the behavioral problems were measured years later."

So cherish each moment with your child, it will pay off a thousand-fold in the future, and for you as a parent, each moment.


http://www.apa.org/news/psycport/PsycPORTArticle.aspx?id=ap_2010_03_09_ap.online.all_D9EBA6JO1_news_ap_org.anpa.xml

Is Anger getting the best of you?

Are some people just born angry or is it a behavior that is learned. Tonight we will explore some recent research related to anger and a behavior that you can’t afford to ignore.

Is anger something that is genetic or is it a behavioral disorder?
• Mental health professionals typically classify anger is a normal feeling, but when the actions are severe or it turns outward it is then classified as a disorder that is learned or behavioral
• Anger is usually accompanied with feelings of depression, shame, guilt, anxiety or bipolar disorder
• Many times anger is classified as Intermittent Explosive disorder when anger is against people or property out of proportion.
• Estimated that 1/20 have Intermittent Explosive disorder (mostly men) and is treated with talk therapy and some antidepressants
• Many researchers believe that anger is correlated with impulsive control disorder
What if you anger is out of check, and things escalate? What things can YOU do to calm yourself down?
• Count. The old adage was correct. Breathe, and count and allow yourself to calm down. When you are angry your blood pressure goes up. Take deep breathes and try to calm down.
• Reframe the situation into a way that is not so hurtful
• Become aware of what makes you mad. Learn to identify your triggers and learn ways to calm yourself down when you realize you are being triggered
• Talk to yourself in a new way. Change the message so you are not the victim.
• Try not to think of past affronts or past injustices and focus on how to calm yourself down
• Never use alcohol. Drinking or drugging when you are mad will only make things worse.
• Will this matter tomorrow? Slow down and decide if this will matter to you tomorrow or next week.


Many times people lose their temper with their significant other. What are some tips to keep your anger in check?
• Call a “time out” if things start to get out of hand. Leave the situation for 30 minutes and come back to discuss
• Leave the room and get some distance
• Come back and try to acknowledge what you think the other person was saying
• Try to compromise or negiotate and look for win-win

15,000 !!!!! Be a winner!!!!!

Help us hit our 15,000 hits to our new blog site. If you are the 15,000 person to come to our site, we will send you a free copy of one of my most recent books (see the blog site for titles). All you have to do is place a comment in this column if you are the lucky 15,000 person and note contact info and you win.

Book winner will get autographed copy of book by author.


(free book will be choice of Cancer Help Book, or I Can See Her Haunting Eyes)

Your Well-being

Great article on the 5 essentials of well-being. The elements discussed are:
1. Connect with other
2. To be active
3. Take notice of surroundings
4. Keep learning
5. Give to your neighbors and community


To read this great article, please go to http://positivepsychologynews.com/news/timothy-so/2010031810036

Weight.... wait.... it might be related to your friends

A new study shows that teen girls determine if they are "normal" or overweight by comparing themselves with their peers. Many had believed the ideal weight was established by celeb looks or media impressions, but current research indicates that the school enviornment, and the weight of fellow teens have the greatest impact on image related to weight.

For more information go to : http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/03/17/teen-girls-look-to-peers-as-weight-models/12195.html

GenY... are they different than you and me?

Are you in the GenY generation? That means you were born in the mid to late 1980s. If so, you may have a different philosophy about work and life that the GenXers or those of us who are baby boomers.

It seems you want more vacations, more leisure time, and substantial pay and promotions. GenYers see work as a means of "making a living" and not their whole existence (the philosophy of past generations).

GenYers are also more civic minded and want to help others.

To learn more go to http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/03/11/how-values-of-geny-workers-differ/12046.html

Enhancing Your Relationship

Everyone wants to have the perfect relationship, but are you doing what it takes to create that type of relationship in your life? Before you can have a healthy relationship, it is essential that you know what it looks like, and realize that it takes devotion and work Tonight we will explore the topic and give you some ideas to enhance your life.

We all want good relationships, but why do so many relationships fail?
• People fail to put in the work and devotion that is needed in a relationship. Whatever is valuable to you takes time, commitment and practice. If you want a relationship to endure, you must be willing to value what it takes to maintain its health.


What are some of the key components of a healthy relationship?
• A relationship that is built on negotiation and compromise
• A relationship that accepts differences versus one that demands changes in your partner
• A relationship in which each person can see the other through his or her individual points of view.
• A relationship that shows respect, honor and commitment


Conflicts arise in every relationship, but what are some tips for those who want to handle them effectively?
• Deal with one issue at a time. It might be tempting to go through all of your grievances in the midst of an argument, but deal with one thing at a time to resolve conflict
• Really listen to your partner. Focus on really “hearing” what your partner is saying vs. focusing on your response or defending your position
• Edit your conversation. Just because you think something, you don’t have to say it. Decide if saying something is helpful, non-hurtful, and meaningful to the conversation
• Realize sometimes it is best to just move on. It might be hard to admit, but sometimes there just isn’t a solution, and the best decision is to just “agree to disagree.”
• Look for a win-win philosophy. Healthy relationships have no losers. Each person should feel heard, and feel as though they both are winners in the relationship discussion.
• Fight fair. The key is to focus on the fact that you love your partner and remember there is no hitting below the belt. That means, no name-calling, no attacking, no hitting, and accepting your part in the disagreement.

Happiness project- wonderful site!!!!

Add some happiness to your life!

Kindness is contagious!

Acts of kindness really do make a difference. A March 2010 study reveals that people really do "pay it forward" when they witness an act of kindness. In fact, acts of kindness are contagious.

So join the contagious behaviors and do something wonderful for someone today. It will change your life, as well as theirs.

To read more go to http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/03/100308151049.htm

We've got lots to share

We do have a lot to share...We have a new look and some new and exciting ways for you to access some important and useful services that can enhance your life and well-being.

First of all, please notice our new logo, which integrates our belief in the importance of growth and the integration of the connection between our mind, body and spirit. We’ve also integrated our focus on counseling & our enhanced wellness services in our new logo.

But there’s more...now you can download a free copy of our monthly newsletter, which focuses on a new mental health topic in depth... and it’s so easy for you to access. Just go to www.joymiller.com and you will discover our newsletter on the entry page of our website. We are going green, and eco-friendly, so you can read it online and help save our planet. Additionally, you can click the Wellness Icon along the top and find our current schedule for our yoga, meditation, massage and workshops that are conducted in our Joyful Living Studio.

But, there is still more. Many of you watch Dr. Joy on WEEK-TV on Wednesdays at 5pm, and now you can download the entire segment from our website. All you need to do is click the Blog Icon and you will find the weekly segment, as well as articles on mental health that are updated at least three times a week. You will be up to date on mental health news as it is released. You can also join our twitter site at askdrjoy and access daily updates online.

Reset your brain

Meditation has been shown to reset our brain to a restful state of mind.

You can learn meditation in our Joyful Living Studio every Tuesday night. To access the monthly schedule of events, just go to www.joymiller.com and click the WELLNESS icon along the top. Click the schedule and you can discover more about meditation as well as our massage, yoga and workshop offerings.

For more information concerning the research related to brains resetting due to meditation, go to http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/03/05/transcendental-meditation-resets-brain/11899.html

Low of sleep could be deadly!

Sleep might have more of an impact on your well-being that you had originally believed. A new study shows that those who do not attain adequate sleep also have fat build-up around their vital organs.

Add this information to other issues related to obesity and genetic factors, and you might be a statistic ready to happen.

For more information, please go to http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/03/100301091302.htm

Love... Love ya do!

We may be past Valentine’s Day, but it is certain that everyone loves being in love. Your heart races and all you can think about is your significant other—in the best way possible. But what really happens when you fall in love? Tonight we will take a look at that phenomenon and put some research behind the feelings.


What do we know about love from purely a physiological basis?
• Typically your heart starts to race due to an adrenaline rush. This happens when the brain sends a signal to the adrenal gland and it secrets hormones such as adrenaline, epinephrine and norepinephrine. These flow through the blood stream and the heart beats faster
• The norepinephrine, which is a stress hormone makes you feel weak in the knees
• By using brain imagining we have learned that people who are “madly in love” found activity in the brain that produces dopamine and that gives you focused attention, the craving, euphoria, the energy and motivation.
• Some believe that serotonin levels rise and this activates obsessive thinking
• Researchers have also shown that cortisol levels, which is a stress hormone, increases for 30 minutes at the thought of a picture of their loved one.

Are there are positive effects of being in love?
• Love makes people feel optimistic, energetic and motivated
• People who are in love live longer, have fewer heart problems, and lower blood pressure
• 1995 study showed that people who are married adds 7 years to a man’s life and 2 years to a woman’s life.

Could you give us a few tips to enhance our love life?
• Make love a priority. Find the time to make your love relationship a key aspect of your life.
• Love the person, not the potential. Be realistic about the person you love. If you are looking to change them, then you are looking to lose at love
• Be present. By that I mean that be focused on the relationship and the other person vs. other things in your life.
• Be your best self. Be honest about who you are, and be willing to give your relationship all of you in a healthy way.

Are you a dog or a cat person?

There are research studies that are focused on everything. Tonight we will share current research that really correlates if you are a dog person or a cat person. So lets discover the differences…


Tell us about the study and what they discovered.
• 4500 people were in the survey and they took the Gosling-Potter Personality test
• Dog people tend to be more social and outgoing
• Dog people are more extraverts, agreeable, and conscientious
• Cat people tend to be more neurotic but open—meaning they are creative,
philosophical or nontraditional
• Cat people are more independent and like to do their own thing

Sometimes people actually look like their pets—does this effect if people pick a dog?
• A British Columbia study showed that women with long hair like spaniels and beagles, and women with short hair like short eared basenjis and huskies (both short ears and hair)
• Another study showed that participants could match photographs of owners to their purebred dogs 67% of the time based on appearance alone
• Results suggested that people pick dogs that look like them
• And there could be lots of say about this study…. hahaha

We do love out pets, but from a psychological standpoint, what do pets do for us?
• Pets provide a sense of security and protection (trust someone is always around)
• Pets are friends (helps with loneliness)
• Pets ease loss ( people with pets are less likely to experience deterioration
in health following stressful events)
• Pets encourage us to become more active (go for more walks and generally are
more active than those without pets)
• Pets encourage people to take better care of themselves (generally people take
better care of their pet and themselves because they have something to love and
nurture)

The evil forces and darkness

Darkness might effect your moral compass. It may sound strange, but new research indicates the darkness can effect your choices to be ethical or...

Interesting study that will make you say... hummmmmm

PTSD and your genes

A new study shows that your genes may effect your ability to cope with extreme stress that produces Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in others. This remarkable study indicates why some suffer with PTSD while others do not... even when they experience the same trauma.

Read more at http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/02/26/experts-study-survivors-for-ptsd-insights/11739.html