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Monday, August 23, 2010

Celebrating Life


Celebrating life

We try not to forget special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries or national holidays. But there is no reason to wait for a special event. In tonight’s Happiness segment you just might chuckle when you hear what we are going to celebrate.

So it sounds like you have something humorous to share with us tonight?

Well, Gina… Oprah says “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” Well, tonight we will share some holidays that you just may have forgotten—or perhaps never thought of before.
• Tonight is National Kiss and Make up day. So that means it’s time to do some smooching and give in on that big disagreement
• It’s also National Be kind to humankind week. Now I didn’t want you to forget that one, because many of you have been kind to aliens, monsters, dogs, cats and reptiles—but it is time to be kind to humans week
• It’s also second hand wardrobe day- so I’m encouraging you all to grab someone else’s clothes and wear them to dinner tonight

This all sounds pretty funny. What do you want us to learn from these zany days?
• Every day is worth celebrating
• Every day is a miracle and each and every day is worth laughing out loud
• Your happiness quotient could be greatly improved by looking at life in a light - hearted humorous way. In fact, a gentleman I met always stated when asked… How are you? “Pretty darn close to perfect.” How many of us look at life in such a humorous and light -hearted fashion?

So what’s our assignment for tonight?
• Look at each day as a celebration. That means finding ways to celebrate your life and go about finding ways to enjoy the day for all the miracles it provides—if you do that it will enhance your happiness level beyond belief.
And for fun.. you can do a google search for zany holidays and get a chuckle throughout the year as you celebrate some funny holidays

The pursuit of happiness


The pursuit of happiness

Forget about having the biggest house, or the largest bank account, or even the biggest diamond ring… those really aren’t things the things make us happy. The secrets of happiness aren’t related to money, wealth, or status. It seems the secret of happiness might just be something that doesn’t even cost you one single penny.

You say the secrets to happiness do not cost us anything. Can you explain?

There really are four simple keys to happiness
• Happy People Like themselves- they focus on their strengths, they are positive and accept themselves and feel good about life
• Happy people are filled with hope- happy people are say “yes” people who are not limited by setbacks. They believe they can succeed
• Happy people are outgoing—extroverts report greater happiness and satisfaction with life. They are people who have a large circle of friends, are more affectionate and enjoy great social support
• Happy people believe they choose their destiny- happy people believe they can control or influence their futures. They believe they can influence their lives in a positive way.

So what is our goal for the week to enhance our happiness quotient?

This week I ask everyone out there to focus on one of the four keys mentioned about and integrate it into your life. I’m asking you to focus on just one of the four keys and do something each day to change your thoughts and your behaviors—if you do that, we can promise you that your happiness level will rise and it will give you PSYCHOLOGICAL WEALTH BEYOND BELIEF…

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Fighting for Your Marriage


Marriage counselors and therapists are always talking about the importance of good communication skills. Without them, marriages tend to end up in dissatisfaction, discord and many times divorce court. Tonight we will look at communication and even the art of “healthy arguing” so you can live happily ever after.

We all know that communication is essential in a good marriage, but tell us about “healthy arguing.”
• All couples disagree. The important element is how you handle that disagreement
• Dr. Markman, the co-director of the Center for Marital and Family studies states that couples who argue are happier
• Markman those who criticize each other’s feelings, roll their eyes, are physically or emotionally abusive, are likely to end up in divorce court
• Markman makes no distinction between arguing, bickering, fighting or nagging—they are all ways of expressing disagreement that can lead to insults, silence or storming off.

What do the experts suggest as a means of healthy “disagreements?”
• Experts suggest the conflict resolution strategy related to “he said, she said”
• This technique is not about winning or dominating, it is focused on trying to “really hear and understand” what the other person is saying in a disagreement
• Keys include: setting a time period- say 15-30 minutes; flipping a coin to see who goes first. The first person states their opinion or feelings in 2-3 statements. Then the other person repeats back what they think they heard. The partners then reflect on the accuracy of the statements being heard and discussed. The focus is on hearing—NOT winning.
• Markman says in his book “Fighting for your marriage”, they focus isn’t on solutions or competing, but about being cooperative and really hearing what your partner has said

Are there other techniques you would suggest for those who tend to argue, scream or have heated arguments?
• Just talk. The issues won’t just go away unless you discuss it
• Don’t assume. You may have been in a relationship for a long time with your partner, but you don’t know everything they are thinking or feeling
• Flexibility is a strength. You can change your viewpoint and that doesn’t mean you lose
• Agree to disagree. It is not necessary that there is a winner and a loser. Sometimes we just don’t see things the way someone else views it
• Arguing in front of the children. Only argue in front of your children when you use these good discussion techniques to model healthy resolutions.
• Choose your words carefully. You can never take words back, so think before you speak- it might save your marriage

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Love can shorten our life??????


Looking for love can shorten you life? A Harvard study looks at that question and has some interesting results. Take a moment to read more about the study: http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/08/10/looking-for-love-can-shorten-life/16633.html

Monday, August 2, 2010

Material affection has lasting effects!


A new research study states that the "stress-reducing effects of affectionate mothering might last into children's mid-30s." The Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health study showed that sons who have warm relationships with their mothers were less anxious and generally less depressed then their peers who did not have warm relationships with their mothers.

The study was compiled using 482 in the study who are now in their 30s.