We are proud to announce our new staff members to better serve you
Karen Greene, LCPC
Sarah Stuber, LCSW
Heidi Pompe, M.A.
Katie Young, LCSW
Steve DeCremer, LCPC
To learn more about each of them, click our leaf on the right corner of the blog and it will take you to our website. Then click "Meet our Staff."
Also welcome Lisa Zell our new office receptionist.
Weekly Classes
Monday 9am- Yoga with Lisa Zell
Tuesday 9am-Yoga with Heidi Turcot
Tuesday 5:30- Prenatal Yoga with Lisa Zell
Tuesday 7pm-Meditation with Venky
Wednesday 1:30 -Gentle Yoga/ Seniors with Lisa Zell
Wednesday - Yoga Relaxation Series with Heidi T (time to be announced in the coming days)
Thursday 9am-Yoga with Heidi Turcot
Saturday 9am-Yoga with Lisa Nelson Raabe
Saturday 10:30- Yoga TX with Lisa Nelson Raabe
Pottermania
Perhaps you have noticed that HE is everywhere. You see clips of him on the internet, on television, and the newspaper is filled with information about his adventures.
But Harry Potter isn’t just for children. Tonight we will focus on some elements that might surprise you
What is the draw that captivates so many?
• Aside for the amazing story line, Harry Potter captivates so many because it is not only the classic story of good vs. evil, but it is a magical story of personal growth & empowerment in the face of adversity. Despite the losses experienced by the young Harry (death of his parents), he is achieves greatness in part due to love, nurturing, the development of his own inner strength.
From a psychological perspective, what does Harry Potter teach us?
• We all hold inner strength: He is the part of us, which is buried deep inside locked deep inside our soul. Harry is the child in us that holds the power…the potential…the purpose…the passion!
• Fearlessness: Harry is the part of us that doesn’t fear what others will think. Harry faces his fears and just moves forward, which we all strive to do
• Trust in our abilities: Harry is the part of us that believes we can do anything and trusts we hold the magic to make it happen.
• Self Esteem: Harry sees himself as capable, as trustworthy, as honorable, as dedicated, as intelligent, as athletic, as scholarly, and worthy of being a wizard.
Are there some things WE can learn about self-esteem building from Harry Potter?
Here are some suggestions:
1. Write down all your positives on a sheet a paper (and ignore all the chatter in your head that judges what you write down).
2. Make a list of the amazing things you have accomplished
3. Make a list of the “monsters” (the adversity and challenges) you have conquered.
4. Create a list of the magical things you have created in your life… the people you have helped… the ways you have made a difference.
5. Become your own cheerleader. Speak of your accomplishments and
talk yourself “up” instead of tearing yourself down.
6. Investigate your positives, search out your talents, reach for your dreams, trust your heart, believe your brain, and make decisions that make your soul sing.
Do this and you too will be able to face any challenge, conquer adversity, and perform magical feats by just believing in yourself and trusting you can do whatever comes your way, just like Harry Potter!
Assertiveness: Can you say NO?
Is it hard for you to stand up for yourself? Do you have difficulty being assertive? Do you feel like a doormat who is unable to say NO? Tonight we’ll give you some tips for changing your behaviors.
Some people have difficulty with even defining assertiveness. How would you address the differences between healthy assertiveness and aggressiveness?
• Assertiveness is involves knowing what you want and giving yourself permission to state your needs
• Assertiveness is not aggressiveness. It is a means of honoring your needs without attacking someone else in the process. Being assertive is making a request to someone else, but it is not aggressive or demanding.
• Assertiveness is a means of saying “no” or learning to avoid manipulation or people pleasing.
What are some tips for developing assertiveness?
• First you must become aware of your own feelings, needs, values and desires
• Look the other person in the eye when you talk to them.
• Keep an open posture. Avoid folding your arms, shaking fingers, and face the person directly
• Make a request that is simple, to the point, and firm (and non-blaming or judgmental)
• Stay calm and avoid getting overly emotional or excited.
A lot of people have difficulty saying NO to others. What are some tips for those of us who have a hard time saying NO?
• Remember that saying NO is a means of setting limits. It is nothing to feel guilty about, and you have the right to set boundaries.
• Acknowledge the other person’s request by restating it, and then explain your reasons for declining.
• When you state your reasons for declining, make the points short and to the point.
• Say no by using phrases such as “No, I’m not interested” or “No, I am unwilling to do that.” Say no in a firm, polite manner.
• If it is appropriate you can suggest another option of something you would be willing to do as a proposal for an alternative.
Not living in the moment? You may discover this really creates unhappiness in your life. Check it out http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/11/12/live-in-the-moment-or-be-unhappy/20847.html
You say you are sorry, but do you really mean it? Does it sound like you are apologizing but the receiver says forget it? Well, tonight we will look at six types of apologies, and how to really mean it when you say you are sorry.
What’s some general information about apologies that we should know?
• Canadian study showed that we offer up 4 apologies a week
• 22% of our apologies go to strangers
• 11% to our significant others
• 7% to family members
• 46% to strangers
• and women offer up more apologies than men
What are the different types of apologies?
1. The insincere one: This is an apology that is made in word only and used to manipulate someone. “Sorry to do this to you.”
2. Regret it now- This apology is one that comes days late or given for something done long ago. “Wow, I realize NOW that I hurt you.”
3. The “Ifer” This is used when you just want to appease someone and you don’t know what you did wrong (or maybe don’t care). “I’m sorry if I hurt you somehow.”
4. The defender- This is a mixed message that generally defends the action. “I’m sorry, BUT…”
5. The strategic one-Offered up to end a fight, stop the discussion or to stop the other person from hurting. This is generally the keep the peace apology “Hey, I’m sorry, let’s just move on…”
6. The sincere apology- This is a meaningful, honest apology in which you have an UNDERSTANDING, ARE REGRETFUL, AND KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HURT SOMEONE. “I hurt you and I won’t let this happen again.”
We all make mistakes, but with the sincere apology it sounds as if there are some important elements to making amends. Can you explain?
• A real apology shows remorse—a true statement of being sorry
• A real apology shows that you understand what was the wrongdoing and accept full responsibility for your action
• A real apology admits that you have hurt or harmed someone
• A real apology asks for forgiveness and offers way in which you will change
• A real apology is heart felt and something that will be honored with time and action
We commonly focus on those who are experiencing depression or other mental health concerns, but what about those who are living with someone who is experiencing these disorders. How can a loved one him encourage someone to get help, or what do you do when their mental health is ruining your relationship.
Tell us a little about the impact of depression in America
• 15 million adult Americans suffer with depression each year
• 6 million adults suffer with other mental health issues such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders
• But 50% of those with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia never reach out for help. And statistics show that almost the same rate of depressed people never ask for help as well
No one would want to be depressed or have mental health disorders. So why don’t people reach out for help?
• Some suffer from shame and feel immobilized to get help
• Some have impaired judgement that keeps them from getting help
• Some feel too vulnerable to reach out
We have all seen the commercials with the little cartoon person, and the saying that says, “depression hurts.” But depression also hurts those who live with someone who has depression. What are some things we can do to help someone they love who has depression?
• Be gentle. Show support and tell your loved one how much you care
• Stop nagging. Don’t get into a debate about who is right and who is wrong. Ask questions to find out how you loved one feels
• Suggest that your loved one goes to their PCP. It is easier to get most people who are depressed to agree to see their physician versus a psychologist or psychiatrist.
• Work with your loved one and offer to go with them to the physician or a mental health professional. This type of support might help them feel safer to reach out for help
Are you one of those people who have a hard time deciding where to eat at night? Can’t choose between the Iphone or the Droid? Perhaps just choosing a pair of jeans can take you into a neurotic episode… Well, tonight we will look at why some people have such a difficult time making decisions and some tips to making the process a little easier.
Tell us a little about people who have difficulty making decisions.
• Some people see the world in black and white and have a relatively easy time making decisions.
• People who see the world in more of the grays tend to be more of what helping professionals call “ambivalent” thinkers.
• Being ambivalent or seeing the gray can be a positive aspect, but those who see the word always in multiple options and shades of grays tend to see ALL of their life in this continuum
• Ambivalent thinkers can get caught in evaluating all sides of a choice and that scrutiny can keep them in an eternal battle between all the choices
But seeing things from all sides is a positive attribute. What is harmful about this way of thinking?
• Ambivalent thinkers may see so many choices that they tend to avoid making a decision because everything appears so complex
• Due to the fact that decisions seem so difficult and complex, they may have a higher rate of procrastination and lack of decision making capabilities
• Because they can see all sides of a choice, they also tend to attach more feelings with every choice. In fact, because of their extensive rumination process, they tend to end up feeling guilt about making a choice
• Their ambivalence may keep them in unhealthy relationships and friendships because they can always find reasons for self-blame or ways to discount behaviors that might be destructive, abusive or harmful
If you are someone who has difficulty making decisions, are there some tips that would be useful?
• This is an extremely common concern for many people. In fact, some people are totally paralyzed by decision-making. So normalizing the situation is helpful.
• Access a therapist or coach who can help you discover techniques for healthy decision making. Skills include pairing down choices and knowing your key values
• Know what is important to you (your values) and look at the situation as objects vs. focusing on the feelings surrounding a decision.
• Those who can make decisions easily tend to not be anxious about their choices – a key to moving towards this avenue is to know your own predictable pattern and understand more of what makes you happy.
• Lastly, just make a choice after you have paired things down. Remember it is just a choice, and not a mistake. When you see things as a choice, you can always go back and alter things a little, or change things up. A mistake says it is something about you being bad, wrong or defective…. This is faulty thinking!
• Remember doing nothing is actually choosing to do something- it is choosing to let the world & others make your choices.
Your happiness matters and tonight we will explore some simple things that you can do to raise your happiness quotient. Tonight’s tips may be simple in nature, but we can promise that research has shown they can create a change.
Tell us about our ability to change our happiness level.
• Dr. Sonya Lyumbomirsky from the University of California is the foremost authority on happiness
• Her research shows that 50% of our happiness is based on a set point, 10% is genetic, and 40% of our happiness is within our control. That means we can dramatically change our happiness with intention activities
So what are some intentional activities we can try to enhance our happiness quotient?
• Flip through old photos. Researchers studied mood change. They tested people eating Godiva chocolate, watching TV, listening to music, having a drink, and looking at old photos. Music and chocolate had no effect, alcohol and TV changed mood by 1% and viewing pictures made people feel 11% better. Wow. That’s dramatic!
• Munch on some nuts or eat some salmon. Both have omega 3 fats, which help with depression. A research study at the University of PA showed that those who had high omega 3 levels scored 49-58% better on tests
• Change your environmental scent. An Australian study showed that those who added lavender candles, or put lavender in a diffuser were less anxious, calmer and more positive.
• Take a walk around the block. Studies show that those who get more light exposure during the day have fewer sleep concerns and lower depression.
What is our goal for the week?
Try any one of these four simple tips this week and enhance your mood. Remember you can control your happiness level, and your intention can change your impression of life.
Your happiness matters and tonight we will explore some simple things that you can do to raise your happiness quotient. Tonight’s tips may be simple in nature, but we can promise that research has shown they can create a change.
Tell us about our ability to change our happiness level.
• Dr. Sonya Lyumbomirsky from the University of California is the foremost authority on happiness
• Her research shows that 50% of our happiness is based on a set point, 10% is genetic, and 40% of our happiness is within our control. That means we can dramatically change our happiness with intention activities
So what are some intentional activities we can try to enhance our happiness quotient?
• Flip through old photos. Researchers studied mood change. They tested people eating Godiva chocolate, watching TV, listening to music, having a drink, and looking at old photos. Music and chocolate had no effect, alcohol and TV changed mood by 1% and viewing pictures made people feel 11% better. Wow. That’s dramatic!
• Munch on some nuts or eat some salmon. Both have omega 3 fats, which help with depression. A research study at the University of PA showed that those who had high omega 3 levels scored 49-58% better on tests
• Change your environmental scent. An Australian study showed that those who added lavender candles, or put lavender in a diffuser were less anxious, calmer and more positive.
• Take a walk around the block. Studies show that those who get more light exposure during the day have fewer sleep concerns and lower depression.
What is our goal for the week?
Try any one of these four simple tips this week and enhance your mood. Remember you can control your happiness level, and your intention can change your impression of life.
Please join in the yoga fun in P-town during National Yoga month !!!
4 local studios, with Jeanne Perino at the wheel, have combined efforts and funds to bring this inspiring film to our community.
The proceeds will benefit Yoga in the Classroom.
September 26th @ 7pm at the Peoria Theatre - let's raise our awareness together.
TITANS OF YOGA - THE MOVIE featuring 25 Greats of Yoga and Meditation. Watch online or get DVD
www.yogamonth.org
TITANS OF YOGA movie. Inneractive presents a JOHANNES R. FISSLINGER film with Dr. Dean Ornish, Lilias Folan, Kim Eng, Bryan Kest, Sharon Gannon, David Life, Dharma Mittra, John Friend, Rajashree Choudhury, Gurmukh Khalsa, Swami Kriyananda, Beth Shaw, Shiva Rea, Gary Kraftsow, Ana Forrest, David Swe...
National Yoga Month September, One Week Free Yoga, Hundreds of Yoga Month Events, TITANS OF YOGA™, Y
www.yogamonth.org
National Yoga Month September. Free Yoga Classes and Events. TITANS OF YOGA™. Yoga-Recess™, Awareness Campaign to inspire a healthy lifestyle.
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Do today’s teens and college age students come to their parents or other adults for advice anymore? Perhaps, the days of asking your elder’s for advice has passed it’s prime. Tonight we will look at the generational gap and look at some of the concerns and reasons why this age old practice is fading.
There has always been a generational gap. But why is today different than times past?
• Today’s youth see three reasons for not going to older adults for advice
1. Their lack of knowledge about technology and the fact that they can get anything they want to know online, versus going to a parent or elder
2. The work ethic is different where adults defined themselves by their job, today’s youth define themselves by other things besides work and money
3. Perspective is different throughout the generations say today’s youth who believe they can get better advice from their peers than from their elders.
Are their any other differences that relates to the intergenerational divide?
• Youth tend to feel closer to their parents and many times are texting and communicating with them in more ways, but that doesn’t mean that they are seeking advice
• Today’s youth don’t need to go to their parents or an elder to find out information about sex, dating or taboo subjects—they can go online and find a plethora of information about any subject without fear or shame
So what are some tips for parents on ways to talk to their youth?
• The Wall Street Journal notes these tips?
1. Think about your assumptions. Just because it worked for you as a youth, is it relevant today?
2. Offer some thoughts, not pronouncements or use words like SHOULD OR MUST
3. Open up the discussion. Welcome dialogue and conversation vs. making the discussion a one-way lecture.
4. Resist saying things like… “When I was your age.” Or “When I was young.” When you talk in those terms, you’ve lost them
5. Don’t put down technology or social media—you only alienate your child in that way
6. Accept your limitations. Trust your instincts and know when not to give your point of view.
7. Talk in short sentences and in short bursts. There is a reason kids text… they define conversations in short quips.
8. Don’t feel offended if your child doesn’t ask for your advice. If you have an open relationship, they will ask you things in a way that is not advice seeking—they will just talk, watch and learn by example.
Celebrating life
We try not to forget special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries or national holidays. But there is no reason to wait for a special event. In tonight’s Happiness segment you just might chuckle when you hear what we are going to celebrate.
So it sounds like you have something humorous to share with us tonight?
Well, Gina… Oprah says “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” Well, tonight we will share some holidays that you just may have forgotten—or perhaps never thought of before.
• Tonight is National Kiss and Make up day. So that means it’s time to do some smooching and give in on that big disagreement
• It’s also National Be kind to humankind week. Now I didn’t want you to forget that one, because many of you have been kind to aliens, monsters, dogs, cats and reptiles—but it is time to be kind to humans week
• It’s also second hand wardrobe day- so I’m encouraging you all to grab someone else’s clothes and wear them to dinner tonight
This all sounds pretty funny. What do you want us to learn from these zany days?
• Every day is worth celebrating
• Every day is a miracle and each and every day is worth laughing out loud
• Your happiness quotient could be greatly improved by looking at life in a light - hearted humorous way. In fact, a gentleman I met always stated when asked… How are you? “Pretty darn close to perfect.” How many of us look at life in such a humorous and light -hearted fashion?
•
So what’s our assignment for tonight?
• Look at each day as a celebration. That means finding ways to celebrate your life and go about finding ways to enjoy the day for all the miracles it provides—if you do that it will enhance your happiness level beyond belief.
And for fun.. you can do a google search for zany holidays and get a chuckle throughout the year as you celebrate some funny holidays
The pursuit of happiness
Forget about having the biggest house, or the largest bank account, or even the biggest diamond ring… those really aren’t things the things make us happy. The secrets of happiness aren’t related to money, wealth, or status. It seems the secret of happiness might just be something that doesn’t even cost you one single penny.
You say the secrets to happiness do not cost us anything. Can you explain?
There really are four simple keys to happiness
• Happy People Like themselves- they focus on their strengths, they are positive and accept themselves and feel good about life
• Happy people are filled with hope- happy people are say “yes” people who are not limited by setbacks. They believe they can succeed
• Happy people are outgoing—extroverts report greater happiness and satisfaction with life. They are people who have a large circle of friends, are more affectionate and enjoy great social support
• Happy people believe they choose their destiny- happy people believe they can control or influence their futures. They believe they can influence their lives in a positive way.
So what is our goal for the week to enhance our happiness quotient?
This week I ask everyone out there to focus on one of the four keys mentioned about and integrate it into your life. I’m asking you to focus on just one of the four keys and do something each day to change your thoughts and your behaviors—if you do that, we can promise you that your happiness level will rise and it will give you PSYCHOLOGICAL WEALTH BEYOND BELIEF…
Marriage counselors and therapists are always talking about the importance of good communication skills. Without them, marriages tend to end up in dissatisfaction, discord and many times divorce court. Tonight we will look at communication and even the art of “healthy arguing” so you can live happily ever after.
Looking for love can shorten you life? A Harvard study looks at that question and has some interesting results. Take a moment to read more about the study: http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/08/10/looking-for-love-can-shorten-life/16633.html
A new research study states that the "stress-reducing effects of affectionate mothering might last into children's mid-30s." The Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health study showed that sons who have warm relationships with their mothers were less anxious and generally less depressed then their peers who did not have warm relationships with their mothers.
The study was compiled using 482 in the study who are now in their 30s.
A breakthrough research study might help therapists and ER staff discover if someone is suicidal. A new study has used an interesting correlation to assess suicidal risk. Read more at http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/07/29/new-predictors-of-suicide-risk/16183.html
There's a new study that tells you how to live longer!!! Who doesn't want that? And it is simple and doesn't cost one penny! Check it out at http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/07/29/relationships-are-important-for-longevity/16177.html
There is a new study that believes there is a way to lower your risk of dementia in your older age. Want to know how? Read this article and discover the keys: http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/07/27/longer-education-lessens-risk-of-dementia/16070.html
Are you one of those people who are always comparing themselves with the person next to you? If so, you may be doomed to living in perpetual UNhappiness. We know that the act of constant comparison is a pathway to unhappiness, low self-esteem, and poor self-confidence.
Tonight we will look a good look at happiness and breaking the cycle of destructive comparisons
You say that comparing ourselves to others can be really destructive. Tell us more.
• We can always find someone who is more beautiful, smarter, slimmer, richer, or healthier them us.
• These comparisons only make us feel poorly about where were are, or what we have in our life. The comparison game only leads to sadness and pain.
•
Gina: So what are some tips for those who are always making comparisons?
• We all have the potential to listen to the negative voices on our shoulder that tell us negative things about ourselves (use the prop)
• If you want to be happy first of all acknowledge and accept that there is always someone better off in some way compared to you
• Notice when you are making a comparison and think of something positive about yourself and what you do well
• Put things in perspective… optimistic people look at those who they see as “better off” and try and emulate and enhance something about themselves to be a better person. Use your view as a way to enhance something in yourself
•
So what is our goal for the week?
This week I’d like you to catch yourself when you are comparing yourself to someone else, and notice how you mentally abuse yourself (AUDIENCE OF NEGATIVE TALK) and put yourself down. Then really work at INTERVENING WITH THAT THOUGHT AND PUT ON THE BREAKS and say something positive about yourself and value who you are as a person. If you will do this, I guarantee you will be happier, and mentally wealthier and more content.
Join us this weekend at the Balloon Festival at Three Sister's Park on July 16 & 17.
You'll have a wonderful weekend and watch the race with over 30 balloons competing (including the balloon sponsored by Joy Miller & Assocates).
for more information go to www.balloonsinthepark.com
The toll of sleep deprivation
Some people insist that they can go on just a few hours of sleep, while others seem to need more than others. But, what are the real facts related to sleep and are we becoming a nation of sleep deprived Americans?
How much sleep is really needed by most adults?
• Adults need 7-9 hours of sleep a night to feel fully refreshed and able to function at their highest potential
• 2005 Sleep Foundation study showed that Americans are only getting an average of 6.9 hours of sleep which was a drop of 2 hours per night from the 19th century
• We’ve lost one hour of sleep per night over the past 50 years and 15-25 minutes of sleep in the last 9 years.
But some people say they really don’t need that might sleep. What do the studies show?
• University of Pennsylvania study shows that people are out of touch with their own bodies when sleep deprived. Volunteers who sleep less than 6 hours per night for 2 weeks thought they were fine, but testing showed they were cognitively impaired as someone who was awake for 48 hours
• University of Chicago study showed that loss of sleep changes our body and promotes appetite, reduces the feeling of being full, and alters our body’s response to sugar.
• Case Western study showed that shortened sleep was associated with weight gains and children with sleep deprivation are correlated to those with child obesity
• Children with 6-7 hours of sleep were 2 ½ times as likely to be overweight compared to those children who got 8 hours of sleep
So what are some tips related to a better night’s sleep?
• Try to stay on a schedule—go to bed at the same time each night and awake at the same time
• University of Chicago study showed that if you sleep 10 hours for 2 consecutive nights you will return to normal hormone levels
• Keep your room dark at night and keep your room cool or cold for a better night’s sleep
• Slowly acclimate to the night—turn down the lights before bed, and do something calming such as reading to insure a good night’s rest.
Relaxing can be hard work
Do you find yourself on vacation lying on the beach, and all you can think about are the emails you are missing, or the projects that are piling up on your desk at work? Are you trying to focus on relaxing, but you are just getting more and more tense being away from the think you thought you hated—work! Tonight we’ll look at vacation-ational dysfunction and why it’s so hard to detach.
You talk about vacation-ational dysfunction. Tell us more about that?
• Well, first of all this is a term I created, but research from an Expedia survey showed that 53% of Americans say they come back from vacation rejuvenated.
• 30% say they have trouble on vacation dealing with work stress while they are away
• Many come back more exhausted than when they left for vacation
• Others say they are hooked into their blackberries and iphones so that colleagues and co-workers don’t know they are gone.
• Researchers are now saying that being in communication with the office is less stressful than not being connected
What can happen when people have trouble disconnecting with work?
• Studies show that some people suffer from “leisure sickness” and experience fatigue, flu-like symptoms, and muscle pain according to a 2002 survey from the Netherlands. Survey shows that 3% of the population suffers with these symptoms
• Weekend headaches account for 1/3 of all migraines and 1/6 of all tension headaches
• 19% of people say they cancel their vacations due to work concerns and pressure
• People get addicted to the adrenaline rush at work and can’t relax when they don’t get that fix of pressure.
So what are some suggestions for those who suffer from vacation-ational dysfunction?
• Go ahead and check in with the office, but limit your time to only one hour maximum
• “Just going with the flow” is hard for over-achievers. Have some sort of plan for your vacation time, but try to be flexible if you are not enjoying your activity
• Get physical and get those endorphins working. Exercise will help you cope with the “withdrawal” of focusing on work
• Create a “buffer time segment.” Don’t work right up to the time you hop on the plane or the moment you return. The pressure before and after only makes you more stressful and makes it harder to enjoy the actual vacation
• They can handle it. Trust your co-workers and tell them you will be on vacation and the limits under which you want to be contacted at work
• Practice being in the now. Mindfully focus on this moment and nothing else. Try to keep your thoughts on your vacation and being with others you love—it will be a huge difference
Scientific results that validate "addictive" relationships and their hold on us? Check out the new research at http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/07/07/relationship-breakup-similar-to-addiction-withdrawal/15375.html
Interesting interview with the Dr. Brown on CNN today... makes you contemplate-- especially when my best selling book was called "Addictive Relationships." hummmmm
Is one gender more forgiving than the other? You may think you know the answer, but check out this article concerning "decisional and "emotional" forgiveness
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/06/29/gender-and-forgiveness/
It's great to know that yoga is alive and well at Joy Miller & Associates. Morning classes on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday provide a connection to other people, a place to feel into your body while improving posture and breath. But yoga is more than just another exercise program.
When practiced regularly, yoga reliably increases your sense of physical health, emotional well-being, mental clarity, and spiritual connection. Combining yoga postures with the breath benefits you at an essential core level of physical functioning. Improved breathing allows toxins to leave and increased vitality to enter. Metabolism is increased and aids not only in processing food more efficiently, but in energizing your entire immune system. No wonder a feeling of lightness occurs a the end of practice!
Stress happens when we feel restricted and overwhelmed. Taking time apart from daily activities, turning off the phone and intentionally tuning in to the present moment reduces stress hormone levels. The body is returned it to a physically stress-free state, making it less susceptible to illness and more prone to resiliency and vitality. Our hearts and minds respond with acceptance and openness as the body gives way to contentment.
One of the great things about our classes is that anyone can participate. Unlike attempting to become a pretzel or working yourself into a frenzy, yoga at Joy Miller & Associates is focused on your particular physical abilities and needs. Our teachers have advanced training in therapeutic applications. Come in for a class and find your inner light grow into outer joy.
Work environments have really changed. Job sites were once a place where employees felt secure economically and were assured of their job placement. Today, many work environments are places of tension, anxiety and heightened fear. Tonight we will look at the work environment and give you some tips on how to stay sane when there is negativity all around you.
What are some of the main reasons why job environments are so negative these days?
• Career builders.com notes 3 reasons for the heightened negativity.
1. People are feeling anxiety, fear and pressure in the world and within their relationships and they tend to bring their own emotions to the workplace
2. Employees are being asked to do more with fewer resources which puts everyone in a place of heightened anxiety and feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated
3. Employees feel like they must perform under the pressure or that they will be pink-slipped, laid off or replaced by outsourcing employees. These things only add to the negativity on the job site.
So what can we do to keep ourselves sane in the workplace?
• Don’t be part of the problem. Learn to stay away from gossip and complaining. When you become part of the problem you increase your negativity level which leads to heightened “insanity”
• Try not to over react. When we feel stressed in the workplace, we tend to react to things around us. Tempers fly, people become irritable and terse and that’s the time to slow down, evaluate the situation and be calm and stay away from the drama
• Try to align with positive people. If you are in a toxic environment, the worse thing you can do is align with others who are toxic—this only fills you with the fuel of unhappiness.
• Workplace negativity can make you sick. If you notice you are getting more backaches, headaches, upset stomachs and the likes it might be that you need to get some distance from the job. Set some limits on hours you work, boundaries with other workers, and maintain a life outside of your job
• Talk it over. Many work places offer Employee Assistance Programs or benefits to see counselors. Most therapists are trained to help with stress management, boundary settings and helping you find a real balance in your life. Typically you can get some real helpful techniques in 1-2 sessions.
• The tough choice. If it is unbearable you need to change your viewpoint or move out of the environment. This may seem like a horrible solution to the problem, but some workplace environments are too toxic and it’s not worth your mental or physical health.
A 2010 Consumer Reports survey reveals the power of therapy...
One of the most respected consumer protection groups has now endorsed talk therapy as a means of lowering stress, anxiety and depression.
1500 participants took part in a 3-year study reported in the June 2010 issue of Consumer Reports. The findings concluded two important elements. First of all, respondents who attended AT LEAST 7 sessions had marked improvement in their anxiety and depressive symptoms. And those who took medication in correlation with therapy had the highest improvement. Secondly, the "type of therapist" did not matter. Whether a psychologist, social worker, or professional counselor, the therapy had identical results in the helpfullness ratings.
The survey also concluded that anxiety was up for Americans with 58% reporting symptoms in 2010 compared to 41% to 2004.
Consumer Reports went on to say that counseling was "a good investment. Talk therapy offers two advantages over medication: no drug side effects and tools you can use for the long term. People who struck with talk therapy for a least 7 sessions had significantly better outcomes than those who went six or fewer sessions.
Happiness – How you look at life has a powerful effect on your mood
In our last Happiness segment we discussed being grateful and the power of seeing the positive elements of our life. Tonight we will expand on how we look at life, and just what we can do to enhance some of the techniques related to our inner thoughts.
What can you tell us about American’s view of their life?
• A survey in by Keyes in 2005 showed that 54% of Americans say they are just moderately happy and that they feel they lack the enthusiasm for life
• These Americans say they have touched happiness but don’t know how to recreate that feeling
• Lastly, the research of shows that Americans feel like they are stuck and in a rut
So what can we offer our audience to enhance their happiness ratio and get them out of their rut?
• We’ve talked about the importance of seeing life through a half-full vs. half empty glass
• We’ve discussed being grateful as a means of seeing the world in a different way
• But, one important key to breaking out of a rut is changing your thinking related to being a VICTIM vs being a VICTOR
• Unconsciously many of us look at our job, our relationships, our government, and the world as hostile and a place where someone else is exerting pressure, control or power over our life
• Happy people have one important trait—they BELIEVE THEY HOLD THE POWER TO CHANGE THEIR OWN CORNER OF THE WORLD. HAPPY PEOPLE SEE THEIR CHOICES AND BELIEF THAT CHALLENGES ARE NOTHING MORE THAN OPPORTUNITES TO GROW.
So what is our assignment for this next week?
This may be a hard one for many of you out there, but this week I would ask you to commit to looking at yourself no longer as the victim, but someone who has the creativity to discover your own power. I challenge you to look for a solution versus placing blame…
COMMIT: I’m asking you to find just one challenging thing that upsets you each day and instead of letting it control your mood, CHANGE YOUR VIEWPOINT- PUT ON A DIFFERENT SET OF GLASSES in 2010 and brainstorm some creative ways to change the way you look at the situation so you see options and possibilities…Then take the risk to act on those possibilities and make a empowering change.
Religions and philosophy have focused on tonight’s happiness topic. The Happiness Matters technique of GRATITUDE has been viewed as one of the most important component of health, well-being and inner serenity—but also one of the most forgotten virtues.
Tell us a little about Research related to gratitude and it it effects our physical and emotional well-being.
• The findings from the University of California’s Research Project on Gratitude has some startling statistics.
• Those who keep a simple gratitude journal on a weekly basis tend to exercise more, have fewer physical problems and are more optimistic about life
• People who keep gratitude journals or lists tend to have a greater achievement level on their own personal goals whether academic, work related, interpersonal or health based
• Those who participate in a 21-day gratitude plan noted a higher rate of positive mood, a greater sense of closeness to others, became more optimistic, had better and deeper sleep patterns.
• Those who practice gratitude journaling have higher rates of life satisfaction, vitality and lower levels of depression.
• Children who practice gratitude thinking and practice have been shown to be more positive in their attitudes about school and their family.
So what is our Happiness Matters assignment for this week?
• Count your blessings. Experiencing and expressing gratitude has been shown to raise your happiness quotient. If you see goodness around you it is proven that you will see your life in a happier and healthier fashion. Goal: Commit to reflect daily on 5 things for which you are grateful. So for one week we are asking you to keep a daily list of 5 things that you are grateful for and start your own happiness journal. Then we’d love to hear your response to this assignment. Just go to my blog and tell us a little about how these assignments are changing your life.--- because your happiness matters and we can change your life for the better.
Getting older doesn’t have to mean that you aren’t getting better. Tonight we are going to look at a couple of recent studies and see what helps middle age American’s thrive and survive.
Tell us about the first study related to middle aged Americans.
• 5000 adults were studied for 20 years and British study showed that middle- aged people could age you by a dozen years by missing 4 key elements.
• The habits that were essential to living longer were simple things: not smoking, limiting alcohol consumption, exercise and healthy diet
• The study results suggested that those who don’t smoke or have quit; men who have fewer than 3 drinks & less than 2 for women; those who ate 3 fruits and vegetables, and those who exercised 2 hours a week lived longer
What else did we learn from this study?
• It is the simple things that really can make a difference
• We talk about these elements in many of our segments, but we have to make the commitment to these tenets if we want to live longer and healthier
You had mentioned another study, will you tell us about the results of that study.
• A University of Montreal, April 2010 study showed that baby boomers (those born from 1946-1964) are among the most self-reliant generation
• Boomers can retiring healthy, wealthy and have a desire to travel in their golden years
• Boomers are seen as those who will change our health care system utilizing private nurses to live independently if ill, and have made life-long plans to live their golden years and plan to stay self-reliant, not expecting their children to care for them.
• Clearly these two studies show we can effect our future with some common healthy options and creating a plan for self-security.
Your happiness matters. Tonight we have our second installment of our new Happiness Segments. Our first week we committed to changing our focus and actually smiling and saying hello to strangers, as a means of enhancing our life as well as others. Let’s discuss how that assignment went for our audience.
What was the response to the first segment on smiling?
• Anonymous: Just smiling changed everything for me
• Ron said: I’d like to put those smiley faces everywhere in my office. I think it would change everyone’s outlook
• Ella said: Loved the assignment and even called people to say hello
• The newsroom. Everyone got a kick out of the smiley faces and they all seemed to smile more and laugh just by seeing the smile
So what element of happiness are we looking at tonight?
• Tonight we are looking at the correlation of Happiness & age.
• A 2008 study of 28,000 people from ages 18-88 showed that older Americans are happiest
• Older people are more content with what they have than younger people
• Older people have lower expectations and accept their own achievements
• 2009 study from University of California showed that older people tend to avoid stress leading to less negative emotions.
• Older adults tend to spend more time thinking about past happy events than negative events.
• Most importantly **** the odds of being happy increases 5% with every 10 years of age.
Wow, it sounds like older people may have some real techniques related to happiness. So what is our Happiness Matters assignment for tonight?
• Older people have lower expectations and tend to think in terms of optimism or happier events versus having negative thoughts
• COMMIT: Try to focus on the things that are going well in your life. Commit to trying to change your inner message by focusing on the happy events in your life. Each night before bed make mental note of 5 positive events in your day. Do this for a week and you’ll discover you have raised your happiness ratio! Learn from those who know—focusing on happy events lowers your stress level, changes your outlook, and changes your world!!
GenY, GenMe or Millenials… whatever you call them…they have some different views on the world than the previous generation. Tonight we will look at some of the characteristics of those who are the Millennials—from the age of 18-29.
What are some of the priorities of Millennials?
• Millennials define themselves as technology focused
• They define themselves by their music and pop culture
• They see themselves as liberal and tolerant
• They view themselves as smarter than past generations
• They see their work ethic as different than past generations
• Most GenYers are generally more confident, upbeat and open to change
What do you mean that their work ethic is different?
• The previous generation—the Xers who were born in the 1970s were seen as slackers, and the Boomers defined themselves by their jobs--but the Millenials value their leisure time
• GenY folks say they want a job with an easy pace and lots of vacation time
• GenY people don’t really want to work overtime
• They want jobs where they can make friends- which is very important to them
• GenY see work as less central to their lives yet they want to have big salaries and status (perhaps suggesting they want their cake and eat it too)
If you are working with a GenYer, what tips would you give?
• Realize that they are not defined by their job, so change your expectations or look for someone else who might have the job expectations that you desire
• GenYers are team players and work well in goods. You can use this to your advance by teaming them up to produce.
• GenYers need some assistance with personal communication skills and following procedures in an exact format. Take the time to teach them how to go through all the steps of a job and be specific.
• Remember that GenYers want something different than past generations and they will value time sharing, working part-time and being more flexible with work hours that might help you save money due to economic concerns.
Tonight we begin our bi-weekly happiness segments on WEEK-TV. We have some new promo commercials that will be running and we hope we can get your commitment to bring some happiness into your life.
The following is the transcript of the segment and you can check it out verbatim. We ask you this week to do something simple... JUST COMMIT TO SMILING AND SAYING HI TO 5 STRANGERS EACH DAY.
We know this will bring a change within your life in in the next week, and we'd like to hear about your response. Just click below and tell us your experience by committing to this simple technique. We'd love to have you add your comments to the blog and we will be sharing some of your comments on the show in the following weeks.
Here's the segment and the specific GOAL TO ENHANCE YOUR HAPPINESS QUOTIENT.
Your Happiness Matters and tonight we will focus on a brand addition to our Dr. Joy segment. (April 14th)
Gina: Can you tell us a little bit about our new addition?
Joy:
• We’d like to bring some happiness into your life, and with some simple suggestions and your commitment, you’ll be able to really see a change in your life
• Every other week we will focus on Happiness and some current research related to simple techniques that can enhance your Happiness quotient.
• The tips may seem simple, but research has shown these simple changes will make a real difference in your life as you begin your own Happiness Project.
Gina: This sounds like a wonderful addition to our mental health segment. I know we can all use a little happiness in our life, so where should we begin.
Joy: Let’s start with a simple smile.
• Mother Theresa said “peace beings with a smile.” So let’s work on some inner peace.
• Researchers have shown that the facial muscles used in creating the simple act of smiling triggers special brain neurotransmitters that release endorphins and immune boosting T-cells.
• The simple act of smiling
1. lowers our stress hormones
2. produces hormones that stabilizes our blood pressure
3. improves respiration
4. reduces pain
5. speeds up healing
6. lowers our chance of depression
7. Creates a change to stabilize and enhance our mood.
It takes 62 muscles to frown and only 26 muscles to smile….
Gina: So what is our commitment goal for the week?
Joy: Our goal for the week is to COMMIT TO SMILING AND SAYING HI TO 5 STRANGERS EACH DAY FOR A WEEK.
• It’s a simple as that- but you just need to commit to the change.
• If you’d like to share your experiences you can go to WEEK.com and go to ASKDRJOY and click the blog icon and share your response to this exercise on the blog, and hopefully we can share some of your comments during our Happiness segments.
• Your happiness matters and WEEK and I are dedicated to helping you make some empowering changes.
A new study has been released that looks at why women stay with their abusers. You might find the study revealing.
Go to http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/04/13/despite-abuse-women-stand-by-their-man/12791.html
A new book has just been released dealing with some of the common myths about teens. The book looks quite interesting.
Here are some excerpt from the book...
Popular Myths about Teenagers:
Myth: Teens are bigger risk-takers and thrill-seekers than adults. Fact: Teens perceive more risk than adults do in certain areas, such as the chance of getting into an accident if they drive with a drunk driver.
Myth: Young people only listen to their friends. Fact: Young people report that their parents or a caring adult are their greatest influence - especially when it comes to sexual behavior.
Myth: Adolescents live to push your buttons. Fact: Adolescents may view conflict as a way of expressing themselves, while adults take arguments personally.
Myth: When you're a teenager, you can eat whatever you want and burn it off. Fact: Obesity rates have tripled for adolescents since 1980.
Myth: Teens don't need sleep. Fact: Teens need as much sleep or more than they got as children - 9 to 10 hours is optimum.
To read the article about the new publication go to: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/184958.php
Despite the fact that we have a society that is called the Information Age, it seems that the quick reward tends to win out over informed decisions. Despite the fact that we know we should exercise more, eat better, spend less... we still tend to make decisions based on what feels good and make poor choices much of the time.
The new research research from the University of Texas is a compelling study that shows our happiness in the short term might just collide with good decision making.
To read more go to: http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/04/02/too-much-information-can-lead-to-poor-choices/12554.html
As you may have noticed, I love to find great things to post online. I found this wonderful article about 5 quotes and thought I would share it in it's entirety with you. It is a great article by E. Goldstein, Phd, (quotes only) Enjoy!
5 Quotes that Can Change Your Life!
By ELISHA GOLDSTEIN, PH.D.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” ~ Victor Frankl
“Amidst the worldly comings and goings, observe how endings become beginnings.” ~ Tao Te Ching
“You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” ~ Albert Einstein
“You see everything is about belief, whatever we believe rules our existence, rules our life.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz
“What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters to what lies within us.” ~ Henry David Thoreau
Ok, one extra:
Hence, there is a time to go ahead and a time to stay behind.
There is a time to breathe easy and a time to breathe hard.
There is a time to be vigorous and a time to be gentle.
There is a time to gather and a time to release.
Can you see things as they are
And let them be all on their own?
~ Lao-tzu
There is something exciting coming to my segment on WEEK-TV on Wednesdays. Let's just say it will make you smile, and the new change will happen every other week, so tune in and discover the surprise. It just might make you a bit happier!
Here's some great news... if you are around the age of 60 your self esteem is probably really the highest it has ever been. A new research study shows that our esteem peaks at age 60 and declines slightly as we get older.
Here's some important quotes "“Specifically, we found that people who have higher incomes and better health in later life tend to maintain their self-esteem as they age,” said Orth.
“We cannot know for certain that more wealth and better health directly lead to higher self-esteem, but it does appear to be linked in some way. For example, it is possible that wealth and health are related to feeling more independent and better able to contribute to one’s family and society, which in turn bolsters self-esteem.”
People of all ages in satisfying and supportive relationships tend to have higher self-esteem, according to the findings. However, despite maintaining higher self-esteem throughout their lives, people in happy relationships experienced the same drop in self-esteem during old age as people in unhappy relationships.
“Although they enter old age with higher self-esteem and continue to have higher self-esteem as they age, they decline in self-esteem to the same extent as people in unhappy relationships,” said co-author Kali H. Trzesniewski, PhD, of the University of Western Ontario."
Isn't it great to know that getting older, is getting better :-)
Read the entire article at: http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/04/02/self-esteem-peaks-in-middle-age/12550.html
It seems we might be more compliant at different times in our life. A new research study looks at those who are medication compliant and those who aren't. The reasons may surprise you....
For more information go to http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/03/31/how-to-improve-medication-compliance/12483.html
A new study confirms that emotional well-being is enhanced by a strong relationship between mother and son.
The study notes:
Dr. Pasco Fearon said: “The central question we posed was whether attachment insecurity was associated with behavior problems across all the studies conducted to date. The results showed quite clearly that the answer to this question is a firm yes.
“More specifically, our analysis showed that children with insecure attachments to their mothers, particularly boys, had significantly more behavioral problems, even when the behavioral problems were measured years later."
So cherish each moment with your child, it will pay off a thousand-fold in the future, and for you as a parent, each moment.
http://www.apa.org/news/psycport/PsycPORTArticle.aspx?id=ap_2010_03_09_ap.online.all_D9EBA6JO1_news_ap_org.anpa.xml
Are some people just born angry or is it a behavior that is learned. Tonight we will explore some recent research related to anger and a behavior that you can’t afford to ignore.
Is anger something that is genetic or is it a behavioral disorder?
• Mental health professionals typically classify anger is a normal feeling, but when the actions are severe or it turns outward it is then classified as a disorder that is learned or behavioral
• Anger is usually accompanied with feelings of depression, shame, guilt, anxiety or bipolar disorder
• Many times anger is classified as Intermittent Explosive disorder when anger is against people or property out of proportion.
• Estimated that 1/20 have Intermittent Explosive disorder (mostly men) and is treated with talk therapy and some antidepressants
• Many researchers believe that anger is correlated with impulsive control disorder
What if you anger is out of check, and things escalate? What things can YOU do to calm yourself down?
• Count. The old adage was correct. Breathe, and count and allow yourself to calm down. When you are angry your blood pressure goes up. Take deep breathes and try to calm down.
• Reframe the situation into a way that is not so hurtful
• Become aware of what makes you mad. Learn to identify your triggers and learn ways to calm yourself down when you realize you are being triggered
• Talk to yourself in a new way. Change the message so you are not the victim.
• Try not to think of past affronts or past injustices and focus on how to calm yourself down
• Never use alcohol. Drinking or drugging when you are mad will only make things worse.
• Will this matter tomorrow? Slow down and decide if this will matter to you tomorrow or next week.
Many times people lose their temper with their significant other. What are some tips to keep your anger in check?
• Call a “time out” if things start to get out of hand. Leave the situation for 30 minutes and come back to discuss
• Leave the room and get some distance
• Come back and try to acknowledge what you think the other person was saying
• Try to compromise or negiotate and look for win-win
Help us hit our 15,000 hits to our new blog site. If you are the 15,000 person to come to our site, we will send you a free copy of one of my most recent books (see the blog site for titles). All you have to do is place a comment in this column if you are the lucky 15,000 person and note contact info and you win.
Book winner will get autographed copy of book by author.
(free book will be choice of Cancer Help Book, or I Can See Her Haunting Eyes)
Great article on the 5 essentials of well-being. The elements discussed are:
1. Connect with other
2. To be active
3. Take notice of surroundings
4. Keep learning
5. Give to your neighbors and community
To read this great article, please go to http://positivepsychologynews.com/news/timothy-so/2010031810036
A new study shows that teen girls determine if they are "normal" or overweight by comparing themselves with their peers. Many had believed the ideal weight was established by celeb looks or media impressions, but current research indicates that the school enviornment, and the weight of fellow teens have the greatest impact on image related to weight.
For more information go to : http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/03/17/teen-girls-look-to-peers-as-weight-models/12195.html
Are you in the GenY generation? That means you were born in the mid to late 1980s. If so, you may have a different philosophy about work and life that the GenXers or those of us who are baby boomers.
It seems you want more vacations, more leisure time, and substantial pay and promotions. GenYers see work as a means of "making a living" and not their whole existence (the philosophy of past generations).
GenYers are also more civic minded and want to help others.
To learn more go to http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/03/11/how-values-of-geny-workers-differ/12046.html
