~Thought For The Day~

Do What Brings You JOY!

Truth or Fiction About Dreams

Some people have dreams at night and some people do not.
• (False) all of us have about 4-5 dreams per night during deep sleep

Some people are more receptive to dreams than others.
• (True) some people are more attuned to their dreams and almost are tuned into the channel better than others. Dream sensitive people make suggestions to their unconscious to remember their dreams.

Trained professionals can simply hear a dream and render an interpretation
• (False) Dream analysis is a very active dialog with the dreamer in which the dreamer supplies the associations. Professionals might suggest certain typical ways to approach themes or images, but the dreamer must give input into the personal meaning of the dream.

Dreams can predict our future.
• (False) Dreams can tell of new developments in our psyche, which later are apparent to us. (I know you may think differently on this one, but this is what the research indicates ☺ )

Reoccurring dreams are very rare.
• (True) Many times situations are repeated--but rarely do the details repeat exactly (Mine is about being in college and missing one class and then not being able to graduate—and yes, this is a common reoccurring dream I’ve learned.
• Many times the situation may be the same but changes in the dream show developments in the situation. However, true “reoccurring” dreams are usually due to traumas.

It is easy to trigger our mind to remember dreams.
• (True) This can be accomplished by giving our self a reminder before the onset of sleep. It is helpful to put a notebook or journal by the bed to record the dream and put keywords and vivid images or simples down as keys.

Share your thoughts... and happy dreaming!

Closer Ties Between Children & Parents

A December 2006 Wall Street Journal article noted that the relationships between parents and their children are making a dramatic turn. Families today are finding a “balance” between independence and closeness.

What do the most recent statistics illustrate?
· Studies show that twenty-something’s are more dependent on their parents, and may even be termed “parent lovers.” This means today’s youth are more in touch with their parents than previous generations.
The Wall Street Journal noted some tips and advises for mastering relationships between children and parents…
· Talk in the same language. Kids love to text message, so check in using the same technology, and you’ll be surprised how much your communication will improve.
· Don’t consider yourself friends. Kids want boundaries and not parents who act like their peers.
· Beware: criticism and critiques destroy relationships. Remember that your voice may have lasting impact, when other voices fade quickly into the night.
· Learn from each other. Remember you have just as many opportunities to learn things from your children, as they do from you. When you learn this lesson, your relationship will flourish.
· Today’s kids are comfortable with being wired. Email, text message, or call on his or her cell phone, since today’s youth are in constant contact with everybody.
Any other tips you might suggest?
• Keep the communication open-ended and short and you’ll be surprised how much communication you get when you don’t lecture
• Be there as a cheerleader. Your children need your support and encouragement, and you can bolster your relationship by being there for them through the good times and the difficult times.

What We Can Learn From Harry Potter

I admit it. I AM one of “those” people. I’m an adult who loves Harry Potter and is counting the days until movie #5 debuts on the big screen. And yes, I’m also the one who has a giant mark on my calendar awaiting our long promised finale book publication in July. Now, you might not understand, but that means you just haven’t picked up a copy and started to read…because if you did, you too would LOVE Harry!

When I explain my obsession with Harry to other “muggle” (if you don’t read Harry you might not get that one) adults, I tell them it is because of the magnificent writing style. I wave my hands and my face lights up talking about the creative characters that are almost alive as you read each and every page. Boosting about Harry Potter, I tell people it is the Wizard of Oz of our time. I tell my associates that it helps me create a connection with the children who come into my office for therapy.

But, I know those are all rationalizations. I love Harry because he is empowering. Harry faces his fears and goes for it, no matter what the cost. He believes in his friends, and his friends believe in him…and together they can triumph over any challenge. Harry doesn’t ever give up and always finds a means to achieve his goals, despite the obstacles.

No wonder I love Harry. He is the part of us, which is buried deep inside locked deep inside our soul. Harry is the child in us that holds the power…the potential…the purpose…the passion! Harry is the part of us that doesn’t fear what others will think. Harry is the part of us that believes we can do anything and trusts we hold the magic to make it happen. Harry sees himself as capable, as trustworthy, as honorable, as dedicated, as intelligent, as athletic, as scholarly, and worthy of being a wizard.

Isn’t it a shame that we have allowed our Harry to slip away and become unbelieving in our power, untrusting of our abilities, scared, fearful, lacking confidence and self esteem? But wait… you can find your Harry!
Here are some suggestions:
1. Write down all your positives on a sheet a paper (and ignore all the chatter in your head that judges what you write down).
2. Make a list of the amazing things you have accomplished
3. Make a list of the “monsters” (the adversity and challenges) you have conquered.
4. Create a list of the magical things you have created in your life… the people you have helped… the ways you have made a difference.
5. Become your own cheerleader. Speak of your accomplishments and
talk yourself “up” instead of tearing yourself down.
6. Investigate your positives, search out your talents, reach for your dreams, trust your heart, believe your brain, and make decisions that make your soul sing.

Do this and you too will be able to face any challenge, conquer adversity, and perform magical feats by just believing in yourself and trusting you can do whatever comes your way, just like Harry Potter!

Lying in the Workplace

A recent survey of 2050 employees investigated the issue of lying in the workplace. The CareerBuilder survey indicated that 19% of workers admit they lied at the office at least once a week according to the “Honesty in the Workplace” survey.

What are the common underlying reasons that people lie?
• Fear-people are trying to avoid punishment for something they have done or perceived they have done.
• Habitual fear- in this case people are in constant fear of being punished and it becomes a reflex or habit. In this case they insist the lie is the truth. This is what we call compulsive lying
• Modeling- someone sees another person lying and getting away with it, and they become more prone to lying.
• Reward- in this case the truth won’t get you want you want, so you use a lie to get the reward or goal.

When workers lie at work, what do they say are the reasons for the deception?
• To appease a customer (26%)
• To cover up for a mistake (13%)
• To explain being late or an absence (8%)
• To cover up for a co-worker (8%)
• To get someone in trouble or to make themselves look better (5%)

What are the most common things workers say when they lie?
• “I don’t know how this happened” (20%)
• “I’ll have another call or I’ll call you right back (16%)
• “I’ve been sick or out of town” (10%)
• “ You look great (8%)
• “I didn’t get your email, voicemail, fax” (8%)

85% of managers say they will not promote someone who is caught lying. Remember honesty is the best policy and being deceitful can impact your career and your co-workers ability to trust you in everything you do or say.

Do you think lying in the workplace is as common as this research reports?

Can A Drawing Be A Key To Your Personality?

Can a drawing be a key to your personality?

Can a simple drawing be used to interpret something about your personality? Is it possible that a drawing can reveal valuable information, which helps you understand how you view yourself, others, and the world?

Many mental health practitioners use “Projective tests” as a framework for discussion of personality characteristics with clients. Drawings have the potential of predicting specific traits of the artist. Therapists look for commonly drawn elements as a means of predicting behaviors or beliefs. For instance, a sun in the sky may symbolize a strong connection with your father or mother, depending on which side the paper it is located. Flowers drawn near a house might indicate that the artist enjoys structuring their environment. In fact, a trained therapist and the person who draws the picture can use drawings as a means of discovering a wealth of information and as a forum for further discussion.

Want to try a small projective test for yourself? This is not a psychologically tested projective drawing, but a little fun drawing that might tell a little bit about you. Remember this is just for fun, not something that has a scientific basis. Here goes…take out a piece of clean paper and draw a pig. Yes, I said a pig. Don’t get caught up in the issue of being a perfectionist, just draw a pig…don’t worry…no one will see your drawing so you don’t have to be an award winning pig artist.

Now look at your picture and see if any of these things fit for you…

• If the pig is drawn toward the top of the paper you are an optimist. • If the pig is toward the middle of the page, you are a realist • If the pig is drawn toward the bottom of the page you are a pessimist • If the pig’s face is facing left you are friendly and remember dates • If the pig’s face is facing forward (Looking at you) you are direct and either fear nor avoid discussions • If the pig’s face is facing right, you are innovative and active and have a strong sense of family • Few details in your picture? You care little for details and are a risk-taker • Four legs showing means you are secure, stubborn and stick to your ideals • Missing some legs? You are insecure or living through a period of major change. • The size of the ears says something about the quality of your listening skills. The bigger the ears, the better the listening skills.

Remember this is just a light-hearted look at projective drawings. Sometimes the characteristics fit, and other times they don’t. Hopefully, either way, your pig drawing brought a smile to your face. Now grab a friend and give them the unofficial pig test and then paste that pretty pig on your refrigerator for all to see! Or how about sharing your results with members of the blog and let us know if it was "right-on" for you.

Happy Valentine's Day to all

There are many who feel “forgotten” on Valentine’s Day. Is it true that people experience depression on this holiday?
Absolutely… people who have a “down day” include those who are not in significant relationships, those who have lost their loved one, and those who are in relationships that are not fulfilling. Unfortunately, our media has created the illusion that everyone will have romance on this day. Use Valentine’s Day to tell people you care about them and are grateful they are in your life.

Valentine’s day can be difficult for some people who don’t have a significant other. What are some ideas for those who facing this situation?
1. Do something nice for yourself. Bring in a special dinner, go to a movie, buy yourself some chocolate
2. Spend time with a friend who is also single
3. Focus on gratitude—look at what you DO have in your life vs. what is missing
4. Spend time with grandchildren.
5. Take your pet “out on the town” for a long walk.
6. Remember you don’t have to be in a romantic relationship to use this day to express love and caring for people in your life. Remember how much fun it was when you were a child and gave little valentines to everyone you liked in your class. Share the love.

Making Love Last

Over 50% of all marriages in America end in divorce. What are the keys to making love last?

Couples that have been married for over 40 years say they…
• Accept differences in each other
• Maintain strength during adversity
• Provide nurturing
• Use humor
• Build togetherness
• Use positives in their communication with each other

What are some simple things you can do each day to bolster your chances of making your relationship last?
• Make time for touching and hugs
• Make it a priority to find time for your partner
• Give compliments to each other
• Express appreciation & gratitude
• Have “meaningful” communication
• Say “I love you” and let your behaviors exhibit it

It sounds so easy... and it is! Use this simple techniques to enhance your love life

Are you suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder

The days are gray and cold. Days pass without ever seeing the sun. Welcome to the time when many people suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Many of us have heard about Seasonal affective disorder or SAD… but what are the common characteristics?
Approximately 17 % of Americans suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is commonly called "winter depression." It is characterized by recurrent episodes of depression, carbohydrate craving, weight gain that begins in autumn and continues through the winter months. Many people experience fatigue, loss of energy, and feelings of worthlessness all due to the loss of sunlight. Typically SAD occurs 4 times as many times in women. The average age of onset is 23 years old.

Does Seasonal Affective disorder only occur during the fall and winter?
Actually, research indicates there is also something called "summer depression" which occurs in spring and lasts during the summer. It is characterized by depression, decreased sleep, weight loss and poor appetite.

What is the typical treatment for Seasonal Affective disorder?
Light therapy has been the most successful form of therapy. This is usually done with a light box, which is 10,000 lux and the patient starts with 10-15 minute sessions per day and increases the sessions to 30-45 minutes per day. Light boxes range in cost from $200-$500 depending on the features of the unit. Some insurance companies do cover a portion of the cost of light boxes for therapeutic usage. Most recently, some companies have developed new full-spectrum bulbs that can be placed in lamps and are purchased at a fraction of the cost of traditional light boxes.

Despite claims, there is no evidence to indicate that tanning beds (where the eyes are generally covered) are useful in the treatment of SAD. Actually tanning beds are relatively high in UV rays, which can be harmful to the eyes and the skin.

If you feel like you might be suffering with SAD, discuss your symptoms with a licensed therapist or your physician.

Laughter and Humor

It has been said “By the time a child reaches nursery school, he or she will laugh 300 times a day. Adults laugh an average of 17 times a day.” (Discovery Health).

What are the benefits of laughter?
• Reduces stress (laughter stimulates both sides of our brain and eases muscle tension)
• Lowers our blood pressure
• Elevates our mood (and gives our body a good workout)
• Boosts our immune system (releases antibodies)
• Improves our brain functioning
• Helps us connect with others
• Fosters relaxation

Why do we need humor and laughter?
• Replaces negative emotions with pleasurable feelings
• It changes behavior. We talk more, make more eye contact, touch more
• It increases our energy level
• It makes us feel good and heals our pain
• It is a safe way to introduce ourselves to others (connect)

How can you expand your sense of humor?
• Look for everyday humor. (look for absurd, silly or funny things that happen around you)
• Watch children (observe how they delight in light things)
• Increase your exposure to humor (comedies, joke books, listen to joke tapes, joke a day online)
• Hang around with funny friends
• If you hear a joke you like write it down (make sure you tell someone else and brighten their day).

So here’s my joke for the day: How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb really has to want to change….

The color of your car says something about you

Is your vehicle a clue to the real you? British psychologists claim the color preference of your car tells something about your personality. The Royal Automobile Club analyzed more than a thousand drivers and concluded that car color reveals personality traits more clearly than choice of clothes.

So here's what they concluded from their study:

• Black car- sucess driven and ambitious. The car is a statement of status
• Red car- the person is outgoing and impulsive. They prefer to be spontaneous and creative versus living an orderly life
• Silver car- you have style and focus on success. Researchers say you tend to be pompous
• Grey car- you have understated taste, and you are cautious
• White car- you are distant and dutiful. Researchers say you are aloof and methodical
• Green car- you are class conscious and very traditional in outlook. They say you are short on originality
• Pastel car- you are introverted and shy, and you tend to be depressed.

So there... you have it. Do you think the British researchers have you pegged? Curious to hear what you think.

Mark your calendars for Women's Lifestyle Show

Better than ever, the 16th annual Women's Lifestyle Show is already breaking records. We've got an additional 40,000 square feet to add to our exhibit floor, we will add a second attraction stage, and all of our major sponsors have resigned for Saturday October 27, 2007.

Joy Miller & Associates' booth was so busy last year, we will be adding lots more floor space for our exhibit area, and we'll be adding people to help you in the "Art of JOYful Living" area so you can participate in more interactive activities. And yes... we will have our hit of the show... the Joy Miller PHOTO booth will back in our booth so you can earn your way to take those pictures with your friends.

There will be lots of new surprises, so make sure you check our website regularily at www.womenslifestyleshow.com.