Be Self-Confident in 2008

Would you like to be more confident in 2008? Would you like to have your co-workers and friends see you as “together” and possessing the characteristics healthy self esteem? Here's some tips from those who are self-confident and possess the skills for enhancing your self esteem and confidence in your everyday life.

What is self confidence?
o It is something that is a combination of skills, and people are not born with confidence-it is something that is learned. It comes from practice and it is found in people who are self-directed, accept responsibility and believe in their own abilities.

What are some of the signs of self confidence?
o Admitting you are wrong
o Being flexible when change is needed
o Talking about your accomplishments
o Describing negative events in positive terms (ie.,we didn't make our goal, but
we learned many things from this project)
o Using a strong handshake, stand with good posture
o Making eye contact and smiling

What are skills for building self-confidence
1. Learn your strengths (know your talents, convictions, beliefs and then build on those strenghts)
2. Plan/ be prepared (confident people take the time and energy to look at consequences, options, do their homework, write out your responses so they are prepared for any situation)
3. Take action (be willing to take a risk, give it a go, to try and willing to trust that they will have the skills to handle any new situation)
4. Gain information (people who are confident have information to go on when making decisions. They tend to ask questions, listen, read, observe, and are willing to learn new skills)
5. Act the part (fake it until you make it, look and act powerful, be aware of nonverbals (smile, speak in a confident tone, talk neither too fast or too slowly, carry yourself with a good posture. ) Use words like “I know”
6. Rehearse (practice makes perfect-visualize success. Practice working through situations and role play difficult conversations or situations that might cause you concern. Write things out. Visualize success in your mind)
7. Remember it is said that success is 99% persistence and 1% talent!

Overcoming Shyness

Many people experience shyness at times in their lives, but some people experience intense avoidance or apprehension in social situation. Shyness can be a devastating anxiety disorder, but it can be effectively treated.

Is there a difference between being shy and being an introvert?
• Introverts prefer solitary activities but they do not fear social encounters
• Shyness relates to those who fear social situations and typically it
experienced by those who have low self-confidence and high apprehension

What are some of the causes of shyness?
• Shaming experiences or parental criticism
• Major moves from one school to another, or abrupt changes or disruptions in
family life
• Family neglect with little expressed warmth
• Hostile environments with public embarrassment (environments where bullying
or teasing is encouraged or reinforced).

What are some of the effects experienced by those who are shy?
• Canceling social events at the last moment
• Avoiding social interactions
• Few or no friends
• Low self-esteem, passive nature, and pessimism
• Excessive computer usage, but not social in nature

What can loved ones or friends do to help someone who is shy?
• Encourage them to talk about daily experiences and reinforce their
communication
• Help them challenge their own negative thoughts—be their cheerleader
• Avoid any negative criticism and negative labels for performance
• Role play situations with them so they feel prepared to handle new
experiences
• Reinforce any type of social interaction or communication
• Encourage the person to seek professional assistance from a therapist who can
teach them skills to deal with their disorder

Welcoming 2008

New Years resolutions are made by a great number of Americans, but research indicates very few people successfully complete their list of “to dos.”

What keeps people from accomplishing those New Years resolutions?
o Creating resolutions that are unrealistic related to time and task (losing 50 pounds in two months, or paying off all your debt in 45 days, etc)
o Making resolutions that are for someone else vs. yourself (stop smoking because someone else wants you to, deciding to quit drinking because of pressure from others, etc).

What are the most common new years resolutions?
o Losing weight is the number one resolution (55% of Americans say they are overweight)
o Spending more time with family
o Starting to an exercise or fitness program
o Quitting smoking or drinking


The key to accomplishing your New Year's resolutions is to focus on small steps and "keep it simple."

~Our hope is that your 2008 is filled with good health and happiness!~