Joy Miller & Associates : Blog

Ellen plays in Peoria?

2012-02-01T13:12:00.001-05:00

We need YOUR help in a big way.

We are trying to bring Ellen DeGeneres to Peoria for the Women's Lifestyle Show (yeah, I'm not kidding). But for this to happen, we need your help. We have to bombard, canvas, inundate, cover, flood, and swamp Ellen with messages telling her how she MUST PLAY IN PEORIA.

BUT, it is for a great cause. October is Breast Cancer Awareness month and Ellen is a huge supporter of Susan G. Komen and we are going to attempt to raise $100,000 in Ellen's honor if she comes to Peoria for the Women's Lifestyle Show and much more. Want to know what? Start here and watch this you tube video

http://youtu.be/ZZBV6WqUyr8

Then send this video to every friend, family member, facebook and twitter person you know and then SEND A LETTER, A TWEET, A FACEBOOK MESSAGE TO ELLEN. You can do it directly from you youtube page... or go to womenslifestyleshow.com and click the Ellen Postcard on the top right and you will see clickable links in the middle of the page. Think of every way in the world we can spread the world... we don't have much time to really make an impact!

And then pick up a postcard at Krogers, PNC banks, My Dog's Bakery Daycare & Grooming, Soderstroms, WEEK_WHOI, Essential Wellness or Joy Miller & Associates and tell Ellen why you want her to come (please note that you can send her a postcard every day-- think of Miracle on 34th Street and how they brought in bags & bags of mail for Santa) -- we want her to be canvased with Campaign Ellen postcards.

Some companies are even sending her baskets of surprising trying to urge her to come to Peoria. We can do this Peoria!

We have to OVERWHELM her with our support of getting her to play in Peoria!

Please please help us bring Ellen to Peoria... Please we need a huge push from our community to be noticed by the Ellen show !!!!!

UN-welcome home...

2011-12-04T05:38:00.002-05:00

You are frustrated at work, you are caught in traffic, and you walk in the door and everyone hits you with their problems of the day. Welcome to the UN-welcoming home routine.

The unwelcoming home routine can be tough on marriages. Is there any research related to this phenomenon?

· EHarmony research concluded that relationship satisfaction declines when a partner talks about a bad event and the other partner isn’t supportive or actively listening

· The couple who experiences this event is more likely to argue the next day than the couple who is supportive and listening

· Research indicates that partners who share good events with a partner fosters a healtier relationship regardless of reaction and are less likely to argue.

· The more positive things that partners share the higher the likelihood that the other partner will share something positive and uplifting.

So what are some suggestions you might offer to insure the welcoming home is positive for the whole family?

· Make time for everyone to settle in and decompose after work and school

· Organize your work space, create your to dos prior to leaving work. Listen to music on your way home or relax listening to a audio book. Take a walk or perhaps go to the gym prior to coming home. This puts some closure on your day and relaxes your mood

· Talk after you’ve had time to decompose and have some time for yourself. Sometimes it’s even good to set a time limit on talking about stressful work issues

· Practice good listening skills. Focus on your partner and remember to be empathetic and compassionate (isn’t that what you’d want from your partner?).

Sit with a nice cup of tea, hot chocolate, or talk about the good parts of the day with your partner and children after dinner.

10 tips to survive the holidays

2011-12-04T05:34:00.002-05:00

1. Meaning: Find the meaning in the season and focus on the “real meaning of the holiday vs. the gifts, pressures and expectations

2. Give: The true meaning of the holidays is about giving—but not necessarily about giving of monetary worth or gifts, but about giving of yourself and your love to others

3.Forget perfection: Focus on the human side of the holiday vs. trying to be perfect and becoming overwhelmed and stressed

4. Become what you desire: If you want the holiday to be happy and joyful, then concentrate on the things that make you happy, the people who bring joy to your life, and avoid negatives and inner expectations

5. Be in the now: Focus on the moment…take time to be with those you love and focus on the moments you have with loved ones and times that are meaningful to you

What are 5 more tips to help us survive and thrive during the holiday season?

6.Connect: Reach out to those you love, and include connections with those who are in your thoughts but who might be far away

7. Be mindful of your limits. Be mindful of overspending, overdoing it, and overcommitting during the season

8. To things in moderation. Set limits and stick with them, but also remember that things don’t have to be black or white, and you can allow yourself the gift of not going to extremes

9. Be grateful. Focus on what you have versus what is missing in your life. The happiest people are those who focus on their blessings

10. Comfort yourself. The holiday season can be stressful, so don’t forget to make time for yourself to eat well, exercise, and do things that help you feel good about yourself.

2011-11-13T17:47:00.004-05:00

The Women's Lifestyle Show is now a division of Joy Miller & Associates, LLC. Check out our website at womenslifestyleshow.com and become a fan on Facebook at Womens Lifestyle Show.

Win Tickets to a Private Reception with the Rancicis

2011-10-15T06:50:00.002-05:00

You could win two free tickets to the Private Reception for Guiliana & Bill Rancic

You've seen her on E! and all the Red Carpet events such as the Oscars. Globes, and more. He's the first winner of Celebrity Apprentice and helped with the Trump Tower in Chicago.... and they will be at the Women's Lifestyle Show on October 29th at the Peoria Civic Center

You can win two tickets to the PRIVATE RECEPTION to "schmooze" with Bill & Guiliana. There is ONLY ONE WAY TO ACCESS A TICKET to this private event... go to the Women's Lifestyle Show Facebook page and enter the contest and you might be taking some photos on the red carpet with B & G!

Become a fan of the Women's Lifestyle Show's Facebook page and enter the contest- we pick a winner on October 20th

Journalling... feel the power!

2011-09-11T17:28:00.002-05:00

For some, the idea of journaling can be scary and daunting – you mean I have to write down what I am feeling? What if someone else reads it? For others, journaling is a word of comfort. Something that has helped them cope as they move through their life journey. Through therapeutic writing, individuals can come to a better understanding of themselves and their lives. In fact, research has shown that writing about personal experiences for as little as 15 minutes over the course of three days brings improvement in both physical and mental health.

Joy Miller & Associates is now offering a four week group to get you started or expand upon your journal writing. This group will offer several different guided journaling exercises and explore different techniques that can be used in journaling. Group starts Monday, September 29^th from 6-7 p.m. at Joy Miller and Associates. For more information or to sign up, contact Sarah Stuber, LCSW at 693-8200.

Does gender effect your sleep?

2011-09-06T18:31:00.002-05:00

Does gender have anything to do with your sleep patterns? You may think that both sexes tend to be the same, but research indicates there are some dramatic differences between men and women.

This is the first time we’ve ever heard research related to sleep in regards to different genders. What does this new research show?

· MEN need 6.2 hours of sleep while WOMEN report they need 6.8 hours to do their best.

· MEN tend to have more sleep apnea, while WOMEN tend to have more insomnia

· MEN tend to stay up later and WOMEN tend to get up earlier and are morning people

· WOMEN tend to get more of a deeper sleep than men and wake up fewer times during the night

· WOMEN tend to be less effected by loss of sleep when it comes to mental exams vs. men

· WOMEN fall asleep in 9.3 minutes and MEN typically take 23.2 minutes to fall asleep

Whatever our gender, you’ve told us in past segments that we all are not meeting our requirements for sleep and that research shows that Americans are sleep deprived. What are some tips for sleeping better?

· Learn your sleep position and get into that position once you get into bed. Take some deep breathes, relax and your body will think it is time to go to sleep

· Skip the afternoon coffee treats and remember that caffeine can effect you for up to 8 hours after consumption.

· Go right to bed when you are tired. Don’t sit and work at the computer or watch TV for another hour . It doesn’t matter if it’s still light out, or if it is 2 hours early… when your body says sleep, it’s time.

· Exercise early and eat early. Exercising at night gets you reved up and eating late keeps your body working to digest and absorb and that tends to keep you up.

Are you addicted to your phone?

2011-08-25T01:59:00.004-05:00

Are you a habitual smartphone user? Tonight we will look at the new phenomenon that is taking hold of millions of phone users and you can decide if you are addicted and some steps to crush the behavior.

You say that many people have become habitual users of their smartphones. I understand you have a quick checklist to see if someone fits the criteria.

· Do you check your email more than is necessary. Be honest with yourself, are you checking a need or a want?

· Are you annoying people with always being on your smartphone? Have people made comments about your usage?

· Does the thought of not checking your smartphone create anxiety? Once again, be honest with yourself. Try to put your phone away for an hour and see what happens.

What creates our habitual need to always be checking our phone?

· Researchers suggest that we feel important when we get a text, email or other notifications. It builds our self esteem

· Researchers also suggest that our connection triggers something in our brain when we get email or a text and many times those things have a positive impact and make us feel wanted or needed

· Many people feel alone, isolated and checking emails, Facebook, twitter, makes them feel connected with the world and others.

· Checking has also become a fashionable way to isolate, avoid interacting and avoiding things we don’t want to do… it has become an insulator

· The brain connects with the positive feeling and then a pattern arises and we want to feel that positive rush again, and so we check habitually

What are some tips for those of us who just discovered we may be habitually in love with our smartphone?

· Acknowledge: The first step is always awareness so you can address the issue. Denial only further charges the habitual behaviors.

· Make free-zone times: Set times when you agree to not look at your smartphone. Perhaps that time will be during dinners or meal times with others, or perhaps after a certain time of the night.

· Establish free-zone places: Maybe that location will be the bedroom, the kitchen or perhaps on a vacation

· Evaluate: Be honest and determine what “purpose” the smartphone has for you and take small steps to minimize the behaviors and interact more face to face vs. through the phone

Are your kids strong willed?

2011-08-11T11:02:00.002-05:00

Strong willed children

Do you have one of those strong willed children? We hate to call them stubborn, but you know who they are… whenever you say something they say the opposite. Tonight we’ll look at some creative methods to parent that just might lower the verbal intensity and have your kids adhere to some smart parenting.

This is a topic all parents seem to struggle with. Strong willed children always seem to be challenging for parents. What are some of the strategies you have to share with us?

· Dealing with stubborn children doesn’t have to be a constant fight.

· Use your “brains” and outsmart them.

· Kids who are strong willed want more control and the way to give it to them is to offer choices that fit your criteria for options.

Give us some examples of how we can create “smarter parenting”

· Chores- always a difficult challenge

o Play beat the clock. Make it a game… I bet you can’t clean up this area before the timer goes off. Stubborn kids love challenges and games. Keep a chart to win stickers towards a reward

o You wanna. Your child wants to do something and instead of saying, we can’t do that, try saying, “of course you can do that as soon as we get these toys put away.” The change in focus will make a dramatic difference

· Bedtime- kids always want to stay up later

o Offer the opportunity to stay up a little later, but help them get ready to actually fall asleep by offering them time to go to their room and do something quiet like reading or playing quietly. Tell them if they are quite read they can stay up a little longer

o Offer up the same option but tell them they can pick a book between x and y and you can read it together and stay up a little longer. This creates quiet time prior to bed and increases your connection

o Strong willed kids see this as a win if you present it in that fashion

· Choosing clothes

o Your child never likes what you pick out so let them choose their own clothes—but wait, if you don’t like their choices, then narrow down the choices in the closet.

o Rotate the clothes every couple of weeks so they have new options

o Give them a choice between two or three outfits and let them choose what they want to wear for the next day

o Perhaps they don’t want to wear a coat to school—try putting them in the car that’s cold and when they ask you to turn up the heat or they are complaining about being cold, then take out a jacket you have hidden in the trunk. Let them face their consequences

Stubborn kids need to feel more control and have options, and a smart parent can still have their way by outsmarting their child and still do positive parenting.

The purpose

2011-08-11T10:57:00.004-05:00

this blog has been created to offer you information related to mental health conditions. we would ask that you please use this site for educational purposes.

please be kind ...

Can a move effect your mental health?

2011-06-11T07:02:00.002-05:00

Summer is here, and it is the time that many families are in transition moving to a new house, a location within the city, or move to another part of the country. While moving may seem like a positive change, it is one of the most stressful experiences a family can face.

What are some of the common effects that children have related to moving?

1. drop in grades

2. irritability

3. sleep disturbances

4. withdrawal

5. depression

6. anger and resentment

You say that moving is a stressful event for the family, explain some of the stressors.

1. interrupts relationships with friends

2. creates the potential for more dependent relationships with other family members

3. creates potential conflicts with teens who resent moving from peers

4. has the possibility of creating separation anxiety and abandonment fears in pre-schoolers

What are some tips to smooth out that transition within your family…

1. Discuss why the move is necessary

2. Look at advantages for moving

3. Familiarize yourself with the new area

4. Get involved in the new community

5. Consider letting older high schools finish their school year by staying with a friend or relative

Who needs sleep?

2011-05-18T14:04:00.002-05:00

The lost art of sleep

What do Benjamin Franklin, Winston Churchill, Thomas Edison and Leonardo da Vinci have in common? Historians tell us they all might have had a disorder that you’d never guess… they were “short sleepers.” Tonight we’ll look at this interesting condition for a small portion of our population who appear to not require sleep.

Before we talk about short sleepers, tell us a little about the current information on sleeping requirements.

· Despite the fact that we’d like it to be different, adults function best with 7-9 hours of sleep

· 1/3 of all Americans are sleep deprived & most people do NOT have an accurate gauge of their impairment from loss of sleep

· Those who only get 4-6 hours of sleep per night become impaired and unable to perform simple tasks needed for reading & comprehending a paragraph, driving a car, performing computer tasks

· With each additional day of getting only 4-6 hours of sleep we become more impaired causing some of us to nod off at our desks, increasing loss of memory and concentration

But what about this group of people called short sleepers. What’s different about them?

· Short sleepers consist of about 1-3% of our population and are believed to have a genetic variation that causes the change

· Short sleepers tend to be upbeat, positive, high metabolism, thinner than average, and have a high tolerance for pain

· Do well with less than 6 hours of sleep and don’t get tired during the day

· These individuals tend to be energetic, outgoing, positive and high acheivers with an ability to be resilient

· Short sleepers tend to be multitaskers who talk fast and tend to never stop.

For those of us who aren’t short sleepers, what are some suggestions to help us get a better night’s sleep to increase our efficiency and well-being?

· Researchers suggest: cool or cold room

· Dark room with little noise

· Going to bed at the same time each night

· Having a routine to mentally and physically calm down prior to sleep time.

I'm a nervous wreck!

2011-04-24T10:03:00.001-05:00

A two part series (Part 2)

Do you feel uncomfortable in groups? Do you find yourself suddenly terrified, sweaty, and unable to breathe? Are you uncomfortable in closed elevators or fearful of snakes or spiders? If so, you might suffer from the #1 mental health concern in America… an anxiety disorder.

Can you define anxiety for us?

· Anxiety is generally defined as a feeling or worry, dread, feeling uneasy, nervousness, or apprehension or fear of daily events or future events

· Anxiety disorder effects about 40 million Americans

· Number one mental health problem in America

· More women than men suffer from anxiety

Tell us about the symptoms of anxiety

· Excessive or constant worry and tension

· Preoccupation with fears, unrealistic view of concerns

· Headaches, stomach pains, sweating, muscle tension

· Difficulty with sleep, irritability, feeling restless or uneasy

What are some of the most common forms of anxiety disorders?

· Panic attacks: Affecting over 5 million Americans, they are characterized by sudden episodes of intense fear or apprehension that may come from “out of the blue.” These attacks generally lasts for a few minutes to an hour. Generally people experiencing sweating, shortness or breath, racing heart, feeling numb, hot or cold flashes, and fears of going crazy.

· Social phobia: This is the most common anxiety disorder. It involves the fear of embarrassment or humiliation in situations in which you must perform. The fear surrounds the concern that you will say or do something that will cause others to judge you as weak, crazy, or not capable. The most common social phobia is fear of public speaking.

· Specific phobia: Affecting over 12% of all Americans in their lifetime, this type of phobia involves a strong fear or avoidance of one particular type of object or situation. Some of the most common phobias are fear of animals, fear of heights, fear of flying, and fear of blood or needles.

· Generalized Anxiety disorder: This disorder is characterized by anxiety that persists for at least six months. Generally this occurs when people are concerned about numerous life stresses and experience symptoms of irritability, restlessness, sleeplessness, muscle tension, difficulty concentrating, and fatigue

· Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: Generally sufferers are reluctant to talk about their symptoms because they impair with daily functioning. OCD sufferers might spend hours cleaning, tidying, checking or ordering to the point that these activities interfere with their lives. Generally individuals feel an obsession to perform a particular activity, and feel compelled to attend to the obsession. This disorder affects over 2.4 million Americans during any 6-month period.

Remember if you suffer from any of these symptoms—reach out to a therapist and remember that anxiety disorders have a 70% success rate for treatment.

Do you give in to fears?

2011-04-24T10:01:00.001-05:00

May 4th is National Anxiety Screening Day

Just like eating or sleeping, anxiety is a normal part of life. Under the “right” circumstances, anxiety can be beneficial because it motivates us to take action. Faced with an unexpected or unfamiliar challenge, the feeling of anxiety prepares us for the upcoming event. Anxiety heightens our alertness and readies the body for action. Anxiety can also protect us by urging us to flee when we are in danger.

How is fear different than anxiety?

· Fear is directed towards a concrete, external object or situation. People fear tests, or fear they will be unable to pay their taxes, or perhaps fear that they will be rejected.

· Anxiety is something that occurs internally—it is a response or a feeling that something may occur. Anxiety affects people psychologically, behaviorally and physiologically.

· Anxiety affects our entire body…we begin to sweat, our muscles become tense, our heart races, we feel queasy, we have a dry mouth, or we may fear that we will die.

When does anxiety become a disorder?

· Researchers define as disorders those situations in which the anxiety reaches overwhelming levels, or dramatically reduces or eliminates productivity, or intrudes in a person’s quality of daily life.

· Disorders are distinguished from everyday normal anxieties by three elements:

o their intensity (such as panic attacks);

o their duration (they don’t go away after a stressful situation is resolved)

o those that are persistent ( (persistent fear of objects or events can lead to phobias)

What are common treatments?

· Treatment: Commonly, they are treated with a combination of psychotherapy and medication.

· Strategy: Typically therapy deals with teaching methods to minimize stress reactions, helping people break destructive thoughts, and helping people learn strategies to cope and become resilient

· Success: Success rates for those who use therapy and medication together have a 60-70% rate of success.

A Proven Traditiion of Excellence

2011-04-18T14:17:00.004-05:00

Here's a list of of new staff listings. Wow have we grown....

Joy Miller & Associates: Counseling and Wellness
Joy Erlichman Miller PhD, LCPC, MAC, CADC
Heidi Turcot LCSW, E-RYT / Emeritus
John J. Hubbs LCSW, CADC, SAP
Ed Hamann EdD, LCPC, LMFT / Emeritus
Connie Hamann LCPC, CADC / Emeritus
Suzanne Brasche LCSW, ACSW, CADC, MISAII
Judy Carlson LCPC, EMDR
Heidi Pompe, MA
Sarah Stuber, LCSW
Karen Greene LCPC
Steve DeCremer, LCPC
Debra Disney, LCPC, DCC
Jori Sparry, LMFT
Jill Egizio LCSW
Sherry Dockins LCPC, CADC

Office Staff
Debbie Fitzpatrick
Kathy Gawthorp
Lisa Zell
Stephanie Powers Hlinak
Taylor Gawthorp

Joyful Living Studio Consultants
Yoga - Heidi Turcot E-RYT, Lisa Nelson Raabe, Lisa Zell
Meditation – Venkatesh Anandasayanam

WE ARE GROWING ONCE AGAIN!!!!!

2011-04-18T12:10:00.004-05:00

We are growing once again. Watch this space an learn more about our new additions to our staff...

Jori Sparry LMFT and Jill Egizio LCSW

Do You Need A Tech Detox?

2011-03-24T08:20:00.001-05:00

TIME FOR A TECH DETOX: TREATMENT PLAN 101 (2 part series)

Here’s a common family gathering. Dad’s watching the TV and mom is reading her Kindle on the couch. Blythe, the oldest daughter is texting her boyfriend while sitting next to her little sister who is playing a computer game on her I-pad. Thorne, the middle child and only son is happily playing a game on his handheld gaming device. Is this your family ? Maybe it is time for a TECH DETOX?

Are American’s really this technology oriented and are they really in need of a detoxification?
• Years ago, the behavior we see commonly in our world was called an “addiction.” Now it is normalized behavior
• People text and are becoming disconnected from each other and the skills of communication
• Short sentences and abbreviations are a norm and writing complete sentences, in paragraph form, with a thesis sentence and a conclusion is a lost art.
•
What types of technology are taking up most of our time?
• November 2010 study showed that 24% of our time is used for social networking
• 10% of our time is used for online gaming
• 7.5% for emailing
• 4% on movies and videos

How do we know if we are in need of a technology detox?
• The Wall Street Journal recently reported some common characteristics to know if you and your relationships are in need of a cleanse. Here are some of the symptoms
1. You can’t get through a meal without checking your email, texting or talking on the phone
2. You sleep with your phone near you and check your emails or text while in bed
3. You have an argument with a loved one about the use of your technology
4. You text while driving OR look at your emails
5. When you are with your family, loved ones or friends you are each looking at different screens.
Do these things fit for you?

Next week we will look at some ways we can do a technology detox – and surprisingly it might be more difficult than any other thing you’ve given up in your life.

Part #2- Technology Detox

Last week we took a hard look at America’s consumption and preoccupation…well, should we almost say “addiction to technology.” This week we will look at some of the ways in which we can break away from our technology and come back to forming & regain our relationships on a face-to -face basis.

Then what can we do to detox or cleanse ourselves and regain connections?
• Plan a time for your detox and give yourself & your family advance warning. Preparation is the key to a successful detox
• Be clear about the rules. What calls can be made and what is forbidden in the cleanse. Decide if any emails or computer use can be utilized during the cleanse ( look at issues such as homework, emergency calls)
• Establish the consequences for cheating or sneaking to use technology.
• Wean yourself off the gadgets. Some people can go “cold turkey,” but you might have greater success giving up a little at a time or just giving up one type of technology (but remember when you give up texting you might find yourself doing more emailing—so is that really a cleanse?)
• Be sure you understand WHY you are doing the cleanse and giving up technology. Try not to give up technology to do something else that is isolating.
• Decide how long you want to do the cleanse. Be realistic in your expectations. Perhaps look at giving up technology for a day or two vs. giving it up for a month
• Inform family and friends and tell them you will be unavailable via technology during your cleanse. You can use technology to announce your detox – and don’t be surprised if others choose to join your efforts.
• Make a plan and think of things you will want to do when you are involved in the cleanse (spend more one on one time with family, play board games with your children, spend time actually have conversations with your loved one)
• Consider doing a permanent “Sabbath Manifesto” or a “Day of Unplugging” which is at sundown on March 4 , 2011/ going for 24 hours. Are you up for the challenge?

Helping a Friend when they are Grieving

2011-03-24T08:17:00.002-05:00

Your close friend losses their mother, or a workplace co-worker experiences the loss of their grandfather. Grieving is so difficult, but knowing what to say or do when someone around you is experiencing a loss is difficult for most people.

Talking with someone who has just had a loss is difficult. What are some things people to say to someone who is grieving?
1. “I’m sorry to hear about your loss”
2. “ I will be thinking about you.”
3. Admit that you might not know what to say, but that you are sorry to hear the news about the loss of the loved one
4. Do not ask what happened because they just makes the grieving person relive the pain.
5. Avoid clichés such as “good things come from bad things” or “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
6. Avoid saying that you know how someone is feeling or suggest that they “move on” or “should” do anything

Now that we know what not to say, what is important to help?
1. Reach out. Email and texting is nice, but reaching out with a visit or a phone call is more personal and comforting.
2. Listen vs. directing. Allow the griever to talk about whatever they desire. Try not to lead the person into discussions you want to have vs. letting them just talk and gather support
3. Help. Instead of asking what you can do, just do something. Make dinner, offer to babysit, mow the lawn, or assist by shoveling the snow or walking their dog
4. Show your love. Talk about memories of the loved one and how they changed or made you smile. Share happy thoughts and memories and comfort the griever with things that bring happiness to their life.
5. Be enduring. Too often people are there for the funeral but absent days, weeks and months later. Remember that grieving goes on for a long time and be a supporter for days and months to come.

Are there any other suggestions to assist when your friend is grieving?
1. Allow the griever to express ALL of their feelings and let them know it is safe to cry or express any emotion in your presence
2. Be willing to be silent and perhaps just holding a hand, giving a hug, or just sitting with someone. This act can be the greatest gift you can give to someone who is experiencing a loss

Finding Love at Your Workplace

2011-02-16T19:01:00.002-05:00

February is the month of love, but office romances can make the job workplace an uncomfortable place for fellow employees and employers. Let's look at office romances and the things you need to know before you bring your love life into your workplace setting.

Employers are taking steps to limit or restrict office romances. What are some of the current trends?
• Contracting (Employees are required to sign a formal contract that they will not date other employees within a facility, and stating the employer is free of any liability if a suit or disagreement arises between two employees)
• Employer restrictions (Employers note that there is a conflict of interest if two employees begin to date and insist that one employee must leave the department)
• Providing outside counseling (Employees are referred to outside professionals for assistance establishing boundaries and procedures to maintain appropriate role separations in their work and leisure life.)

What are some of the fears relating to office romances?
• Many employers and co-workers believe that office relationship diverts employees from focusing on work tasks.
• Many employees who date fear that these relationships will endanger to their own careers.
• Often romantic couples are discounted on the ladder of promotions.
• Conflicts in the office are generally more emotionally charged than normal office disagreements, and may tend to separate and polarize employees forced to “take a side” in a romantic battle.

If you can’t resist an office romance- what are some keys to success?
• Be prepared: Realize that co-workers may be hostile and there can be difficulties. Create a plan if things don’t go well in the relationship.
• Be direct: If the attraction is serious, speak directly about your interests and intentions. Make every effort to not allow your personal relationship interfere with your working relationship.
• Maintain appropriate behaviors: Keep romantic gestures away from work. Watch favoritism toward your partner and never bring fights to the office.
• Be professional: Continue to maintain a high level of work performance, and don’t lose sight of your professional responsibilities

How much do you know about women & self esteem?

2011-02-04T09:32:00.002-05:00

Self-Esteem & Women

Quiz:
1. The family is a strong force in development of self-esteem

2. Parental approval is crucial in nurturing self esteem

3. There is little correlation between achievement and healthy self esteem

4. Self esteem is an external versus an internal issue

5. Healthy self-esteem can be bolstered by achievements during personal adversity

1. True. Self-esteem is defined, as an appreciation for one’s self, a positive self-attitude, a belief in one’s abilities, trusting one’s decisions, and a belief that one is competent and powerful. The basic element of self-esteem is love and acceptance of self through recognition of strengths and forgiveness for weaknesses. Skills leading to positive self-esteem are gained during the early developmental years. The main sources for skill development during these early years are family, friends, and schools.
2. True. Parents who withdraw or neglect showing approval to their children hamper the development of healthy self-esteem. Adults who have healthy self-esteem have been reinforced by someone who defined them as worthy, capable, and loveable during their early development.
3. False. Achievement and accomplishments which were nurtured or praised lead to the development of positive self-esteem. When we learn that we have worth, or are capable of achieving our goals, our self-esteem escalates.
4. False. Self-esteem is something that develops within and can not be attained merely through the approval of others. Self-esteem is an inside job, and can be built upon at any stage of our life.
5. True. Whenever we face personal adversity, we have the opportunity to learn about our personal strengths and abilities. By focusing on our ability to cope, survive and be resilient, we foster our self-esteem and self-confidence.

Self-esteem can be fostered and enhanced at any age. We have the ability to build skills and create a healthier sense of self-worth and esteem. As women develop a positive regard for their accomplishments, they learn to nurture their worth through praising their successes. We also enhance our self-esteem by taking control of our lives. A sense of control can be achieved through establishing financial self-sufficiency, mastering a project or career, through positive parenting, or through feeling competent to manage daily affairs. Esteem is built through experiences, which reinforce our belief that we are valuable and important. It is enhanced when we feel we are needed, and we have a purpose in life. For many people, self-esteem & confidence are enhanced by living in accordance with personal values and beliefs.

What are some means of increasing your self-esteem?
• Cultivate friendships. When we create healthy relationships with other people, we enhance the feelings that we are likable and worthy.
• Treat yourself kindly. It is impossible to foster healthy self-esteem when we feed our soul and fill our mind with negative self-talk. It is essential that we minimize the focus on failure and maximize positive self-talk and affirmations. Focusing on what you do well, versus what you do poorly. Make note of positive changes you make in your life. Notice your accomplishments and become your own cheerleader.
• Do something every day that makes you feel valuable. Worth is fostered through living each day with purpose. Value can be derived through simple acts of kindness to others as well as through accomplishing tasks, duties, or goals.
• Take risks and face your fears. The best way to increase belief in yourself is to take a risk and learn you can trust yourself. Whenever we face our personal limitations and try to make changes, we build our self-confidence, self-acceptance, and self-esteem.
• Use empowering self-statements Research has shown that writing a positive self-statements (affirmations) ten times a day for 21 days will bring about a change. Affirmations are simple to create. They need to be positive, affirming, and state something you would like to create in your life.

How Do you Choose a Therapist?

2011-02-04T09:30:00.002-05:00

Choosing a therapist…

If your finances are out of control, or having difficulties with expenses, income or taxes… you would hire a consultant. If you find yourself out of shape, you might also hire a trainer or consultant. Why should your mental health be any different? Think about it…isn’t your mental and emotional well being as important as your physical health or your finances?

But how do you find a good mental health consultant – a mental health professional? If you watch television or listen to the radio, you might believe that anyone could give advice and “fix” your mental health concerns. Obviously, Dr. Laura and other pop counselors make therapy look almost trite and minimize the emotional impact of life changing events. But, then how many of you know Dr. Laura doesn’t have a Ph.D. in psychology? Not in counseling either…. Dr. Laura actually isn’t a licensed psychotherapist, licensed social worker, licensed marriage therapist, or a licensed counselor… her Ph.D. is actually not even in the helping professions. Surprised? Would anyone hire a consultant who actually doesn’t have a degree or license in his or her specialization? Of course not, and that’s why it is important to gather some information and education before you seek a professional counselor.

First of all, it is important that you understand the differences between all the psychobabble of designations within the field of psychology.
• Psychiatrists are physicians (M.D) who have completed a 3-year psychiatric residency program following medical school. They are the only one who can prescribe medications for mental health concerns and generally focus on medication management and assessment.
• Psychologists generally hold a Ph.D. but there are also master’s degree (M.A) level psychologists. Generally psychologist specialize in testing, assessment, and evaluation and many times do individual, couples and family therapy.
• Clinical social workers, Professional counselors, and Marriage and Family therapists generally hold a master’s degree in their respective disciplines, but many are also Ph.D. such as myself. These clinicians generally specialize in counseling and effective treatment options and work in agencies, hospitals, or private practice.

Now, we move to the next interesting area… some people call themselves therapists, or counselors, or clinicians and they are not degreed. Generally, social workers, professional therapists and marriage and family therapists hold a minimum of a master’s degree. This minimum degree is necessary for therapist to be licensed in the State of Illinois. So be careful, make sure that your prospective therapist has an appropriate degree, and is licensed by the State of Illinois (which insures they meet state requirements regarding competence, ethical standards, continuing education, and educational requirements). But additionally, some therapists are also certified in specializations such as addictions. These specializations or certifications indicate expertise in an area of treatment, but are not regulated by the State of Illinois. Generally certified therapists gain their specialization from a group or agency which regulates to make sure they attain continuing education as well as meet ethical standards. Obviously, you want the best consultant for your own well-being… so look for a therapist who is Licensed by the State of Illinois and has certification in areas they report are specialization in their counseling practice.

Think you’ve got it figured out now…. Not quite! There are Licensed Professional Counselors and Licensed Social Workers--- but that is quite different from Licensed CLINICAL professional counselors and Licensed CLINICAL Social Workers. Actually the term “Clinical” indicates these clinicians hold a minimum of 2 years of supervised experience as well as meeting the requirements of the State of Illinois. These CLINICAL specialists are generally on managed care lists such as Blue Cross/Blue Shield, Caterpillar, State of Illinois, etc.

Now you are totally confused? The key concept is the importance of asking questions and getting the making sure you are working with someone who actually is trained to help with your concerns.

But what are you looking for in a therapist?
• Therapists who is trained to understand your emotional distress and the process of emotional healing
• Therapist who is nonjudgmental (neutral) and maintains confidentiality and privacy
• Therapist who is willing to provide support for self-expression and not give advice.
• Therapist who provides appropriate and ethical treatment for mental health issues.
• Therapist who assists in breaking destructive patterns, destructive thoughts and actions.
• Therapist who can maintain a sense of realistic hope and options during difficult times.
• Therapist who maintains a professional relationship and suggests referrals to other professionals or area resources when appropriate.
• Therapist who is honest, and treats each client with respect and concern.
• Therapist who is willing to assist with investigation of options in a timely manner.

But where can you find a therapist? Most people find therapists through personal referrals. Most people generally go to someone who has helped a friend, family member, acquaintance or colleague. Your family doctor, primary health care provider or clergy might be an excellence source of referral. Or many people consult the yellow pages under headings such as counselors, psychologists or Physicians-Psychiatry. But a note to the wise… the most important element of choosing a therapist is matching your needs with someone who you feel comfortable with… and who you believe has the expertise to assist in making the changes you desire.

What conversational style do you use?

2011-02-02T18:40:00.001-05:00

Conversational styles: Are Men and Women the same?

We all know that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, but what does that mean in a real “day to day” living arrangement? Generally speaking women are talkers and men are generally “doers.” These differences make for great blending, but they can also create some difficult problems for many couples.

Does gender really break down into talkers and non-talkers?
• It may not be all that simple, but generally women get a boost of oxytocin, the feel good hormone when they speak to others.
• Men get this same boost, but testosterone blunts the effect and talking is generally not as much of a “high” for them
• Women generally are circular talkers- meaning they talk around an issue to give you a “holistic” view of the discussion.
• Men are typically direct talkers and speak quickly and to the point with as few words as necessary
• Of course there are exceptions to these concepts because we are all individuals and unique

Are there some ways to communicate better considering the differences?
• If you are a talker, slow down so the non-talker can absorb your conversation
• If you are a talker, ask questions and get the other person involved
• If you are a non-talker use simple cues to let the talker know that you are listening. Nod your head, say, “I hear you”, or “I think I can see how you felt that way.”
• Set aside talking time as well as time to just relax without conversation

Are there some things that men could do to enhance their conversational relationship with women?
• listen to them and offer no solutions. Women want to be heard and figure out their own solutions
• Learn reflecting skills – make statements that show you understand
• Make eye contact, try a gentle touch or holding a hand when listening
• Understand the importance of “TALKING” in a women’s life

What can women do to enhance their conversational relationships with men?
• Notice and offer appreciation to men. Men value noticing that they are doing things that care for those they love.
• Give lots of compliments with men. Men need to feel appreciated
• Allow men to have free time to sort, analyze, think. Cave time is essential for men and they need quiet time to work through things in their own way.
• Use direct and short conversations so men can “really hear” what you are saying.

Grateful people have more

2011-02-02T18:38:00.001-05:00

Grateful People Have More

Did you know that grateful people have more? They have good health, they have a higher happiness quotient and they have a higher rate of self esteem and confidence. So we’ll look at how you can have what they have in a few easy steps.

Tell us more about the research about grateful people.
• Those who frequently feel grateful are those who have larger social connections, and tend to be less depressed, less anxious, sleep more soundly, exercise regularly and tend to resist viral infections
• We also know that children who are taught gratefulness tend to be less materialistic, get better grades, have less headaches and stomach aches
• Children who are gratefulness training at an early age tend to be more satisfied with their lives and tend to have a greater desire to give back to others and their society

What is the key element for fighting our society’s need for materialism and envy?
• Researchers in the Journal of Happiness state that the best way to fight materialism and greed is to teach someone to be grateful and see what they have vs. what is missing.
• There are simple keys that can be done each day to enhance our gratefulness quotient

What are those keys?
• Change your mind. Instead of looking at the five things that bother you during the day, focus on the five things that went well during the day. The change in focus will be life changing
• Focus on blessings. This is not a religion lesson, but just a statement that those who see life filled with blessings vs. crisis are those who are more fulfilled and happy
• Hang with the “right” people. Find people who tend to look at the positives vs. live in criticism, negatives, and gripes. This may mean that you might have to alter some of your friendships, or you could create a new bond with a friend to really work together to change the way in which you look at life
• Look at people in a new way. Focus on what they have brought to your life, vs. what you have given to theirs. When you look at people in this way we tend to see how others enhance our lives in small ways that we might not even notice.
• Being grateful is as simple as thank you. I’m not talking about the standard, just say it thank you—but a heart felt thank you. When we focus on really looking, we can take the time to really feel what others do for us, what we have, and how our life is filled with just what we need.

What happened to the sun? Seasonal Affective Disorder

2011-02-02T18:33:00.002-05:00

The snow is falling and the skies are gray and you find yourself down and wanting to just stay in bed. The days seem to pass without seeing a single ray of sunlight. Welcome to the time when many people suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder. It is believed 10-17% of Americans suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which some call winter depression.

Let’s see how much you knows about SAD
• Seasonal affective disorder can only affect you during the winter months?
1. True
2. False

• How is Seasonal Affective Disorder differ from clinical depression?
1. SAD is not like depression at all- it is entirely different set of symptoms
2. SAD is a milder illness and patients are unlikely to experience major depression
3. SAD is just like depression except for the time of the year it occurs

• Tanning beds effectively treat SAD
1. True
2. False

• What deficiency in Vitamin might be linked to SAD?
1. Vitamin A
2. Vitamin B
3. Vitamin C
4. Vitamin D

What are the common characteristics of SAD?
• Depression, cravings for carbohydrates, weight gain, fatigue, loss of energy, and feelings of worthlessness. These symptoms are all common effects due to the loss of sunlight
• Typically, SAD occurs 4 times as many times in women and the average age of onset is 23 years old.
• Additionally, many sufferers notice low self esteem, anxiety, obsessive worry and an inability to feel joy.
What are the typical treatments for SAD?
• Light therapy is the most effective and usually done with a specially made light box composed for 10,000 lux. Patients sit 10-15 minutes a day up to 30-45 minutes to minimize effects
• Counseling to learn techniques to minimize depression, learn techniques to deal with coping
• Most effective is light therapy combined with counseling and if needed the use of antidepressants.

New staff at Joy Miller & Associates- We've now grown to 16!

2010-12-22T08:32:00.003-05:00

We are proud to announce our new staff members to better serve you

Karen Greene, LCPC
Sarah Stuber, LCSW
Heidi Pompe, M.A.
Katie Young, LCSW
Steve DeCremer, LCPC

To learn more about each of them, click our leaf on the right corner of the blog and it will take you to our website. Then click "Meet our Staff."

Also welcome Lisa Zell our new office receptionist.

Joyful Living Offerings for 2011

2010-12-18T10:55:00.005-05:00

Weekly Classes

Monday 9am- Yoga with Lisa Zell

Tuesday 9am-Yoga with Heidi Turcot

Tuesday 5:30- Prenatal Yoga with Lisa Zell

Tuesday 7pm-Meditation with Venky

Wednesday 1:30 -Gentle Yoga/ Seniors with Lisa Zell

Wednesday - Yoga Relaxation Series with Heidi T (time to be announced in the coming days)

Thursday 9am-Yoga with Heidi Turcot

Saturday 9am-Yoga with Lisa Nelson Raabe

Saturday 10:30- Yoga TX with Lisa Nelson Raabe

Mental health lessons can you learn from Harry Potter

2010-11-18T16:02:00.001-05:00

Pottermania
Perhaps you have noticed that HE is everywhere. You see clips of him on the internet, on television, and the newspaper is filled with information about his adventures.

But Harry Potter isn’t just for children. Tonight we will focus on some elements that might surprise you

What is the draw that captivates so many?
• Aside for the amazing story line, Harry Potter captivates so many because it is not only the classic story of good vs. evil, but it is a magical story of personal growth & empowerment in the face of adversity. Despite the losses experienced by the young Harry (death of his parents), he is achieves greatness in part due to love, nurturing, the development of his own inner strength.

From a psychological perspective, what does Harry Potter teach us?
• We all hold inner strength: He is the part of us, which is buried deep inside locked deep inside our soul. Harry is the child in us that holds the power…the potential…the purpose…the passion!
• Fearlessness: Harry is the part of us that doesn’t fear what others will think. Harry faces his fears and just moves forward, which we all strive to do
• Trust in our abilities: Harry is the part of us that believes we can do anything and trusts we hold the magic to make it happen.
• Self Esteem: Harry sees himself as capable, as trustworthy, as honorable, as dedicated, as intelligent, as athletic, as scholarly, and worthy of being a wizard.

Are there some things WE can learn about self-esteem building from Harry Potter?
Here are some suggestions:
1. Write down all your positives on a sheet a paper (and ignore all the chatter in your head that judges what you write down).
2. Make a list of the amazing things you have accomplished
3. Make a list of the “monsters” (the adversity and challenges) you have conquered.
4. Create a list of the magical things you have created in your life… the people you have helped… the ways you have made a difference.
5. Become your own cheerleader. Speak of your accomplishments and
talk yourself “up” instead of tearing yourself down.
6. Investigate your positives, search out your talents, reach for your dreams, trust your heart, believe your brain, and make decisions that make your soul sing.

Do this and you too will be able to face any challenge, conquer adversity, and perform magical feats by just believing in yourself and trusting you can do whatever comes your way, just like Harry Potter!

Assertiveness. Do You know how to say NO?

2010-11-18T15:59:00.001-05:00

Assertiveness: Can you say NO?

Is it hard for you to stand up for yourself? Do you have difficulty being assertive? Do you feel like a doormat who is unable to say NO? Tonight we’ll give you some tips for changing your behaviors.

Some people have difficulty with even defining assertiveness. How would you address the differences between healthy assertiveness and aggressiveness?
• Assertiveness is involves knowing what you want and giving yourself permission to state your needs
• Assertiveness is not aggressiveness. It is a means of honoring your needs without attacking someone else in the process. Being assertive is making a request to someone else, but it is not aggressive or demanding.
• Assertiveness is a means of saying “no” or learning to avoid manipulation or people pleasing.

What are some tips for developing assertiveness?
• First you must become aware of your own feelings, needs, values and desires
• Look the other person in the eye when you talk to them.
• Keep an open posture. Avoid folding your arms, shaking fingers, and face the person directly
• Make a request that is simple, to the point, and firm (and non-blaming or judgmental)
• Stay calm and avoid getting overly emotional or excited.

A lot of people have difficulty saying NO to others. What are some tips for those of us who have a hard time saying NO?
• Remember that saying NO is a means of setting limits. It is nothing to feel guilty about, and you have the right to set boundaries.
• Acknowledge the other person’s request by restating it, and then explain your reasons for declining.
• When you state your reasons for declining, make the points short and to the point.
• Say no by using phrases such as “No, I’m not interested” or “No, I am unwilling to do that.” Say no in a firm, polite manner.
• If it is appropriate you can suggest another option of something you would be willing to do as a proposal for an alternative.

A wandering mind is an unhappy mind

2010-11-14T17:18:00.003-05:00

Not living in the moment? You may discover this really creates unhappiness in your life. Check it out http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/11/12/live-in-the-moment-or-be-unhappy/20847.html

Apologies

2010-11-11T08:44:00.002-05:00

You say you are sorry, but do you really mean it? Does it sound like you are apologizing but the receiver says forget it? Well, tonight we will look at six types of apologies, and how to really mean it when you say you are sorry.

What’s some general information about apologies that we should know?
• Canadian study showed that we offer up 4 apologies a week
• 22% of our apologies go to strangers
• 11% to our significant others
• 7% to family members
• 46% to strangers
• and women offer up more apologies than men

What are the different types of apologies?
1. The insincere one: This is an apology that is made in word only and used to manipulate someone. “Sorry to do this to you.”
2. Regret it now- This apology is one that comes days late or given for something done long ago. “Wow, I realize NOW that I hurt you.”
3. The “Ifer” This is used when you just want to appease someone and you don’t know what you did wrong (or maybe don’t care). “I’m sorry if I hurt you somehow.”
4. The defender- This is a mixed message that generally defends the action. “I’m sorry, BUT…”
5. The strategic one-Offered up to end a fight, stop the discussion or to stop the other person from hurting. This is generally the keep the peace apology “Hey, I’m sorry, let’s just move on…”
6. The sincere apology- This is a meaningful, honest apology in which you have an UNDERSTANDING, ARE REGRETFUL, AND KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HURT SOMEONE. “I hurt you and I won’t let this happen again.”

We all make mistakes, but with the sincere apology it sounds as if there are some important elements to making amends. Can you explain?
• A real apology shows remorse—a true statement of being sorry
• A real apology shows that you understand what was the wrongdoing and accept full responsibility for your action
• A real apology admits that you have hurt or harmed someone
• A real apology asks for forgiveness and offers way in which you will change
• A real apology is heart felt and something that will be honored with time and action

Mental Health Month

2010-10-21T16:52:00.001-05:00

We commonly focus on those who are experiencing depression or other mental health concerns, but what about those who are living with someone who is experiencing these disorders. How can a loved one him encourage someone to get help, or what do you do when their mental health is ruining your relationship.

Tell us a little about the impact of depression in America
• 15 million adult Americans suffer with depression each year
• 6 million adults suffer with other mental health issues such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders
• But 50% of those with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia never reach out for help. And statistics show that almost the same rate of depressed people never ask for help as well

No one would want to be depressed or have mental health disorders. So why don’t people reach out for help?
• Some suffer from shame and feel immobilized to get help
• Some have impaired judgement that keeps them from getting help
• Some feel too vulnerable to reach out

We have all seen the commercials with the little cartoon person, and the saying that says, “depression hurts.” But depression also hurts those who live with someone who has depression. What are some things we can do to help someone they love who has depression?
• Be gentle. Show support and tell your loved one how much you care
• Stop nagging. Don’t get into a debate about who is right and who is wrong. Ask questions to find out how you loved one feels
• Suggest that your loved one goes to their PCP. It is easier to get most people who are depressed to agree to see their physician versus a psychologist or psychiatrist.
• Work with your loved one and offer to go with them to the physician or a mental health professional. This type of support might help them feel safer to reach out for help

Can you make a decision? Who me?

2010-10-07T16:28:00.001-05:00

Are you one of those people who have a hard time deciding where to eat at night? Can’t choose between the Iphone or the Droid? Perhaps just choosing a pair of jeans can take you into a neurotic episode… Well, tonight we will look at why some people have such a difficult time making decisions and some tips to making the process a little easier.

Tell us a little about people who have difficulty making decisions.
• Some people see the world in black and white and have a relatively easy time making decisions.
• People who see the world in more of the grays tend to be more of what helping professionals call “ambivalent” thinkers.
• Being ambivalent or seeing the gray can be a positive aspect, but those who see the word always in multiple options and shades of grays tend to see ALL of their life in this continuum
• Ambivalent thinkers can get caught in evaluating all sides of a choice and that scrutiny can keep them in an eternal battle between all the choices

But seeing things from all sides is a positive attribute. What is harmful about this way of thinking?
• Ambivalent thinkers may see so many choices that they tend to avoid making a decision because everything appears so complex
• Due to the fact that decisions seem so difficult and complex, they may have a higher rate of procrastination and lack of decision making capabilities
• Because they can see all sides of a choice, they also tend to attach more feelings with every choice. In fact, because of their extensive rumination process, they tend to end up feeling guilt about making a choice
• Their ambivalence may keep them in unhealthy relationships and friendships because they can always find reasons for self-blame or ways to discount behaviors that might be destructive, abusive or harmful

If you are someone who has difficulty making decisions, are there some tips that would be useful?
• This is an extremely common concern for many people. In fact, some people are totally paralyzed by decision-making. So normalizing the situation is helpful.
• Access a therapist or coach who can help you discover techniques for healthy decision making. Skills include pairing down choices and knowing your key values
• Know what is important to you (your values) and look at the situation as objects vs. focusing on the feelings surrounding a decision.
• Those who can make decisions easily tend to not be anxious about their choices – a key to moving towards this avenue is to know your own predictable pattern and understand more of what makes you happy.
• Lastly, just make a choice after you have paired things down. Remember it is just a choice, and not a mistake. When you see things as a choice, you can always go back and alter things a little, or change things up. A mistake says it is something about you being bad, wrong or defective…. This is faulty thinking!
• Remember doing nothing is actually choosing to do something- it is choosing to let the world & others make your choices.

Simple tips to enhance your happiness...

2010-10-02T07:13:00.001-05:00

Your happiness matters and tonight we will explore some simple things that you can do to raise your happiness quotient. Tonight’s tips may be simple in nature, but we can promise that research has shown they can create a change.

Tell us about our ability to change our happiness level.
• Dr. Sonya Lyumbomirsky from the University of California is the foremost authority on happiness
• Her research shows that 50% of our happiness is based on a set point, 10% is genetic, and 40% of our happiness is within our control. That means we can dramatically change our happiness with intention activities

So what are some intentional activities we can try to enhance our happiness quotient?
• Flip through old photos. Researchers studied mood change. They tested people eating Godiva chocolate, watching TV, listening to music, having a drink, and looking at old photos. Music and chocolate had no effect, alcohol and TV changed mood by 1% and viewing pictures made people feel 11% better. Wow. That’s dramatic!
• Munch on some nuts or eat some salmon. Both have omega 3 fats, which help with depression. A research study at the University of PA showed that those who had high omega 3 levels scored 49-58% better on tests
• Change your environmental scent. An Australian study showed that those who added lavender candles, or put lavender in a diffuser were less anxious, calmer and more positive.
• Take a walk around the block. Studies show that those who get more light exposure during the day have fewer sleep concerns and lower depression.

What is our goal for the week?
Try any one of these four simple tips this week and enhance your mood. Remember you can control your happiness level, and your intention can change your impression of life.

Do our kids want our advice?

2010-09-23T07:25:00.002-05:00

What makes us happy?

2010-09-23T07:18:00.002-05:00

Some tips to boost your Happiness Quotient

2010-09-22T06:55:00.001-05:00

Your happiness matters and tonight we will explore some simple things that you can do to raise your happiness quotient. Tonight’s tips may be simple in nature, but we can promise that research has shown they can create a change.

Tell us about our ability to change our happiness level.
• Dr. Sonya Lyumbomirsky from the University of California is the foremost authority on happiness
• Her research shows that 50% of our happiness is based on a set point, 10% is genetic, and 40% of our happiness is within our control. That means we can dramatically change our happiness with intention activities
So what are some intentional activities we can try to enhance our happiness quotient?
• Flip through old photos. Researchers studied mood change. They tested people eating Godiva chocolate, watching TV, listening to music, having a drink, and looking at old photos. Music and chocolate had no effect, alcohol and TV changed mood by 1% and viewing pictures made people feel 11% better. Wow. That’s dramatic!
• Munch on some nuts or eat some salmon. Both have omega 3 fats, which help with depression. A research study at the University of PA showed that those who had high omega 3 levels scored 49-58% better on tests
• Change your environmental scent. An Australian study showed that those who added lavender candles, or put lavender in a diffuser were less anxious, calmer and more positive.
• Take a walk around the block. Studies show that those who get more light exposure during the day have fewer sleep concerns and lower depression.
What is our goal for the week?
Try any one of these four simple tips this week and enhance your mood. Remember you can control your happiness level, and your intention can change your impression of life.

National yoga month

2010-09-14T17:51:00.001-05:00

Please join in the yoga fun in P-town during National Yoga month !!!
4 local studios, with Jeanne Perino at the wheel, have combined efforts and funds to bring this inspiring film to our community.
The proceeds will benefit Yoga in the Classroom.
September 26th @ 7pm at the Peoria Theatre - let's raise our awareness together.
TITANS OF YOGA - THE MOVIE featuring 25 Greats of Yoga and Meditation. Watch online or get DVD
www.yogamonth.org
TITANS OF YOGA movie. Inneractive presents a JOHANNES R. FISSLINGER film with Dr. Dean Ornish, Lilias Folan, Kim Eng, Bryan Kest, Sharon Gannon, David Life, Dharma Mittra, John Friend, Rajashree Choudhury, Gurmukh Khalsa, Swami Kriyananda, Beth Shaw, Shiva Rea, Gary Kraftsow, Ana Forrest, David Swe...
National Yoga Month September, One Week Free Yoga, Hundreds of Yoga Month Events, TITANS OF YOGA™, Y
www.yogamonth.org
National Yoga Month September. Free Yoga Classes and Events. TITANS OF YOGA™. Yoga-Recess™, Awareness Campaign to inspire a healthy lifestyle.
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Give some advice?

2010-09-08T08:27:00.001-05:00

Do today’s teens and college age students come to their parents or other adults for advice anymore? Perhaps, the days of asking your elder’s for advice has passed it’s prime. Tonight we will look at the generational gap and look at some of the concerns and reasons why this age old practice is fading.

There has always been a generational gap. But why is today different than times past?
• Today’s youth see three reasons for not going to older adults for advice
1. Their lack of knowledge about technology and the fact that they can get anything they want to know online, versus going to a parent or elder
2. The work ethic is different where adults defined themselves by their job, today’s youth define themselves by other things besides work and money
3. Perspective is different throughout the generations say today’s youth who believe they can get better advice from their peers than from their elders.
Are their any other differences that relates to the intergenerational divide?
• Youth tend to feel closer to their parents and many times are texting and communicating with them in more ways, but that doesn’t mean that they are seeking advice
• Today’s youth don’t need to go to their parents or an elder to find out information about sex, dating or taboo subjects—they can go online and find a plethora of information about any subject without fear or shame

So what are some tips for parents on ways to talk to their youth?
• The Wall Street Journal notes these tips?
1. Think about your assumptions. Just because it worked for you as a youth, is it relevant today?
2. Offer some thoughts, not pronouncements or use words like SHOULD OR MUST
3. Open up the discussion. Welcome dialogue and conversation vs. making the discussion a one-way lecture.
4. Resist saying things like… “When I was your age.” Or “When I was young.” When you talk in those terms, you’ve lost them
5. Don’t put down technology or social media—you only alienate your child in that way
6. Accept your limitations. Trust your instincts and know when not to give your point of view.
7. Talk in short sentences and in short bursts. There is a reason kids text… they define conversations in short quips.
8. Don’t feel offended if your child doesn’t ask for your advice. If you have an open relationship, they will ask you things in a way that is not advice seeking—they will just talk, watch and learn by example.

Celebrating Life

2010-08-23T07:28:00.001-05:00

Celebrating life

We try not to forget special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries or national holidays. But there is no reason to wait for a special event. In tonight’s Happiness segment you just might chuckle when you hear what we are going to celebrate.

So it sounds like you have something humorous to share with us tonight?

Well, Gina… Oprah says “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” Well, tonight we will share some holidays that you just may have forgotten—or perhaps never thought of before.
• Tonight is National Kiss and Make up day. So that means it’s time to do some smooching and give in on that big disagreement
• It’s also National Be kind to humankind week. Now I didn’t want you to forget that one, because many of you have been kind to aliens, monsters, dogs, cats and reptiles—but it is time to be kind to humans week
• It’s also second hand wardrobe day- so I’m encouraging you all to grab someone else’s clothes and wear them to dinner tonight

This all sounds pretty funny. What do you want us to learn from these zany days?
• Every day is worth celebrating
• Every day is a miracle and each and every day is worth laughing out loud
• Your happiness quotient could be greatly improved by looking at life in a light - hearted humorous way. In fact, a gentleman I met always stated when asked… How are you? “Pretty darn close to perfect.” How many of us look at life in such a humorous and light -hearted fashion?
•
So what’s our assignment for tonight?
• Look at each day as a celebration. That means finding ways to celebrate your life and go about finding ways to enjoy the day for all the miracles it provides—if you do that it will enhance your happiness level beyond belief.
And for fun.. you can do a google search for zany holidays and get a chuckle throughout the year as you celebrate some funny holidays

The pursuit of happiness

2010-08-23T07:25:00.001-05:00

The pursuit of happiness

Forget about having the biggest house, or the largest bank account, or even the biggest diamond ring… those really aren’t things the things make us happy. The secrets of happiness aren’t related to money, wealth, or status. It seems the secret of happiness might just be something that doesn’t even cost you one single penny.

You say the secrets to happiness do not cost us anything. Can you explain?

There really are four simple keys to happiness
• Happy People Like themselves- they focus on their strengths, they are positive and accept themselves and feel good about life
• Happy people are filled with hope- happy people are say “yes” people who are not limited by setbacks. They believe they can succeed
• Happy people are outgoing—extroverts report greater happiness and satisfaction with life. They are people who have a large circle of friends, are more affectionate and enjoy great social support
• Happy people believe they choose their destiny- happy people believe they can control or influence their futures. They believe they can influence their lives in a positive way.

So what is our goal for the week to enhance our happiness quotient?

This week I ask everyone out there to focus on one of the four keys mentioned about and integrate it into your life. I’m asking you to focus on just one of the four keys and do something each day to change your thoughts and your behaviors—if you do that, we can promise you that your happiness level will rise and it will give you PSYCHOLOGICAL WEALTH BEYOND BELIEF…

Fighting for Your Marriage

2010-08-12T20:47:00.002-05:00

Marriage counselors and therapists are always talking about the importance of good communication skills. Without them, marriages tend to end up in dissatisfaction, discord and many times divorce court. Tonight we will look at communication and even the art of “healthy arguing” so you can live happily ever after.

We all know that communication is essential in a good marriage, but tell us about “healthy arguing.”
• All couples disagree. The important element is how you handle that disagreement
• Dr. Markman, the co-director of the Center for Marital and Family studies states that couples who argue are happier
• Markman those who criticize each other’s feelings, roll their eyes, are physically or emotionally abusive, are likely to end up in divorce court
• Markman makes no distinction between arguing, bickering, fighting or nagging—they are all ways of expressing disagreement that can lead to insults, silence or storming off.

What do the experts suggest as a means of healthy “disagreements?”
• Experts suggest the conflict resolution strategy related to “he said, she said”
• This technique is not about winning or dominating, it is focused on trying to “really hear and understand” what the other person is saying in a disagreement
• Keys include: setting a time period- say 15-30 minutes; flipping a coin to see who goes first. The first person states their opinion or feelings in 2-3 statements. Then the other person repeats back what they think they heard. The partners then reflect on the accuracy of the statements being heard and discussed. The focus is on hearing—NOT winning.
• Markman says in his book “Fighting for your marriage”, they focus isn’t on solutions or competing, but about being cooperative and really hearing what your partner has said

Are there other techniques you would suggest for those who tend to argue, scream or have heated arguments?
• Just talk. The issues won’t just go away unless you discuss it
• Don’t assume. You may have been in a relationship for a long time with your partner, but you don’t know everything they are thinking or feeling
• Flexibility is a strength. You can change your viewpoint and that doesn’t mean you lose
• Agree to disagree. It is not necessary that there is a winner and a loser. Sometimes we just don’t see things the way someone else views it
• Arguing in front of the children. Only argue in front of your children when you use these good discussion techniques to model healthy resolutions.
• Choose your words carefully. You can never take words back, so think before you speak- it might save your marriage

Love can shorten our life??????

2010-08-10T07:34:00.003-05:00

Looking for love can shorten you life? A Harvard study looks at that question and has some interesting results. Take a moment to read more about the study: http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/08/10/looking-for-love-can-shorten-life/16633.html

Material affection has lasting effects!

2010-08-02T14:20:00.003-05:00

A new research study states that the "stress-reducing effects of affectionate mothering might last into children's mid-30s." The Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health study showed that sons who have warm relationships with their mothers were less anxious and generally less depressed then their peers who did not have warm relationships with their mothers.

The study was compiled using 482 in the study who are now in their 30s.

New study related to suicide

2010-07-29T07:54:00.002-05:00

A breakthrough research study might help therapists and ER staff discover if someone is suicidal. A new study has used an interesting correlation to assess suicidal risk. Read more at http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/07/29/new-predictors-of-suicide-risk/16183.html

Want to live longer?

2010-07-29T07:13:00.002-05:00

There's a new study that tells you how to live longer!!! Who doesn't want that? And it is simple and doesn't cost one penny! Check it out at http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/07/29/relationships-are-important-for-longevity/16177.html

Protect your mind

2010-07-27T11:05:00.002-05:00

There is a new study that believes there is a way to lower your risk of dementia in your older age. Want to know how? Read this article and discover the keys: http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/07/27/longer-education-lessens-risk-of-dementia/16070.html

Comparing? Setting yourself up for Unhappiness?

2010-07-14T08:06:00.002-05:00

Are you one of those people who are always comparing themselves with the person next to you? If so, you may be doomed to living in perpetual UNhappiness. We know that the act of constant comparison is a pathway to unhappiness, low self-esteem, and poor self-confidence.

Tonight we will look a good look at happiness and breaking the cycle of destructive comparisons

You say that comparing ourselves to others can be really destructive. Tell us more.

• We can always find someone who is more beautiful, smarter, slimmer, richer, or healthier them us.
• These comparisons only make us feel poorly about where were are, or what we have in our life. The comparison game only leads to sadness and pain.
•
Gina: So what are some tips for those who are always making comparisons?

• We all have the potential to listen to the negative voices on our shoulder that tell us negative things about ourselves (use the prop)
• If you want to be happy first of all acknowledge and accept that there is always someone better off in some way compared to you
• Notice when you are making a comparison and think of something positive about yourself and what you do well
• Put things in perspective… optimistic people look at those who they see as “better off” and try and emulate and enhance something about themselves to be a better person. Use your view as a way to enhance something in yourself
•
So what is our goal for the week?

This week I’d like you to catch yourself when you are comparing yourself to someone else, and notice how you mentally abuse yourself (AUDIENCE OF NEGATIVE TALK) and put yourself down. Then really work at INTERVENING WITH THAT THOUGHT AND PUT ON THE BREAKS and say something positive about yourself and value who you are as a person. If you will do this, I guarantee you will be happier, and mentally wealthier and more content.

Balloon Festival

2010-07-12T12:15:00.001-05:00

Join us this weekend at the Balloon Festival at Three Sister's Park on July 16 & 17.

You'll have a wonderful weekend and watch the race with over 30 balloons competing (including the balloon sponsored by Joy Miller & Assocates).

for more information go to www.balloonsinthepark.com

Are you sleep deprived?

2010-07-12T12:12:00.002-05:00

The toll of sleep deprivation

Some people insist that they can go on just a few hours of sleep, while others seem to need more than others. But, what are the real facts related to sleep and are we becoming a nation of sleep deprived Americans?

How much sleep is really needed by most adults?
• Adults need 7-9 hours of sleep a night to feel fully refreshed and able to function at their highest potential
• 2005 Sleep Foundation study showed that Americans are only getting an average of 6.9 hours of sleep which was a drop of 2 hours per night from the 19th century
• We’ve lost one hour of sleep per night over the past 50 years and 15-25 minutes of sleep in the last 9 years.

But some people say they really don’t need that might sleep. What do the studies show?
• University of Pennsylvania study shows that people are out of touch with their own bodies when sleep deprived. Volunteers who sleep less than 6 hours per night for 2 weeks thought they were fine, but testing showed they were cognitively impaired as someone who was awake for 48 hours
• University of Chicago study showed that loss of sleep changes our body and promotes appetite, reduces the feeling of being full, and alters our body’s response to sugar.
• Case Western study showed that shortened sleep was associated with weight gains and children with sleep deprivation are correlated to those with child obesity
• Children with 6-7 hours of sleep were 2 ½ times as likely to be overweight compared to those children who got 8 hours of sleep

So what are some tips related to a better night’s sleep?
• Try to stay on a schedule—go to bed at the same time each night and awake at the same time
• University of Chicago study showed that if you sleep 10 hours for 2 consecutive nights you will return to normal hormone levels
• Keep your room dark at night and keep your room cool or cold for a better night’s sleep
• Slowly acclimate to the night—turn down the lights before bed, and do something calming such as reading to insure a good night’s rest.

Vacational-dysfunction?

2010-07-07T07:48:00.002-05:00

Relaxing can be hard work

Do you find yourself on vacation lying on the beach, and all you can think about are the emails you are missing, or the projects that are piling up on your desk at work? Are you trying to focus on relaxing, but you are just getting more and more tense being away from the think you thought you hated—work! Tonight we’ll look at vacation-ational dysfunction and why it’s so hard to detach.

You talk about vacation-ational dysfunction. Tell us more about that?
• Well, first of all this is a term I created, but research from an Expedia survey showed that 53% of Americans say they come back from vacation rejuvenated.
• 30% say they have trouble on vacation dealing with work stress while they are away
• Many come back more exhausted than when they left for vacation
• Others say they are hooked into their blackberries and iphones so that colleagues and co-workers don’t know they are gone.
• Researchers are now saying that being in communication with the office is less stressful than not being connected

What can happen when people have trouble disconnecting with work?
• Studies show that some people suffer from “leisure sickness” and experience fatigue, flu-like symptoms, and muscle pain according to a 2002 survey from the Netherlands. Survey shows that 3% of the population suffers with these symptoms
• Weekend headaches account for 1/3 of all migraines and 1/6 of all tension headaches
• 19% of people say they cancel their vacations due to work concerns and pressure
• People get addicted to the adrenaline rush at work and can’t relax when they don’t get that fix of pressure.

So what are some suggestions for those who suffer from vacation-ational dysfunction?
• Go ahead and check in with the office, but limit your time to only one hour maximum
• “Just going with the flow” is hard for over-achievers. Have some sort of plan for your vacation time, but try to be flexible if you are not enjoying your activity
• Get physical and get those endorphins working. Exercise will help you cope with the “withdrawal” of focusing on work
• Create a “buffer time segment.” Don’t work right up to the time you hop on the plane or the moment you return. The pressure before and after only makes you more stressful and makes it harder to enjoy the actual vacation
• They can handle it. Trust your co-workers and tell them you will be on vacation and the limits under which you want to be contacted at work
• Practice being in the now. Mindfully focus on this moment and nothing else. Try to keep your thoughts on your vacation and being with others you love—it will be a huge difference

Breaking up is hard to do....

2010-07-07T07:42:00.003-05:00

Scientific results that validate "addictive" relationships and their hold on us? Check out the new research at http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/07/07/relationship-breakup-similar-to-addiction-withdrawal/15375.html

Interesting interview with the Dr. Brown on CNN today... makes you contemplate-- especially when my best selling book was called "Addictive Relationships." hummmmm

Gender and forgiveness

2010-07-06T11:41:00.002-05:00

Is one gender more forgiving than the other? You may think you know the answer, but check out this article concerning "decisional and "emotional" forgiveness

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/06/29/gender-and-forgiveness/

Joyful benefits of Yoga

2010-06-16T21:29:00.001-05:00

It's great to know that yoga is alive and well at Joy Miller & Associates. Morning classes on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday provide a connection to other people, a place to feel into your body while improving posture and breath. But yoga is more than just another exercise program.

When practiced regularly, yoga reliably increases your sense of physical health, emotional well-being, mental clarity, and spiritual connection. Combining yoga postures with the breath benefits you at an essential core level of physical functioning. Improved breathing allows toxins to leave and increased vitality to enter. Metabolism is increased and aids not only in processing food more efficiently, but in energizing your entire immune system. No wonder a feeling of lightness occurs a the end of practice!

Stress happens when we feel restricted and overwhelmed. Taking time apart from daily activities, turning off the phone and intentionally tuning in to the present moment reduces stress hormone levels. The body is returned it to a physically stress-free state, making it less susceptible to illness and more prone to resiliency and vitality. Our hearts and minds respond with acceptance and openness as the body gives way to contentment.

One of the great things about our classes is that anyone can participate. Unlike attempting to become a pretzel or working yourself into a frenzy, yoga at Joy Miller & Associates is focused on your particular physical abilities and needs. Our teachers have advanced training in therapeutic applications. Come in for a class and find your inner light grow into outer joy.

Is your job toxic?

2010-06-12T11:30:00.001-05:00

Work environments have really changed. Job sites were once a place where employees felt secure economically and were assured of their job placement. Today, many work environments are places of tension, anxiety and heightened fear. Tonight we will look at the work environment and give you some tips on how to stay sane when there is negativity all around you.

What are some of the main reasons why job environments are so negative these days?
• Career builders.com notes 3 reasons for the heightened negativity.
1. People are feeling anxiety, fear and pressure in the world and within their relationships and they tend to bring their own emotions to the workplace
2. Employees are being asked to do more with fewer resources which puts everyone in a place of heightened anxiety and feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated
3. Employees feel like they must perform under the pressure or that they will be pink-slipped, laid off or replaced by outsourcing employees. These things only add to the negativity on the job site.

So what can we do to keep ourselves sane in the workplace?
• Don’t be part of the problem. Learn to stay away from gossip and complaining. When you become part of the problem you increase your negativity level which leads to heightened “insanity”
• Try not to over react. When we feel stressed in the workplace, we tend to react to things around us. Tempers fly, people become irritable and terse and that’s the time to slow down, evaluate the situation and be calm and stay away from the drama
• Try to align with positive people. If you are in a toxic environment, the worse thing you can do is align with others who are toxic—this only fills you with the fuel of unhappiness.
• Workplace negativity can make you sick. If you notice you are getting more backaches, headaches, upset stomachs and the likes it might be that you need to get some distance from the job. Set some limits on hours you work, boundaries with other workers, and maintain a life outside of your job
• Talk it over. Many work places offer Employee Assistance Programs or benefits to see counselors. Most therapists are trained to help with stress management, boundary settings and helping you find a real balance in your life. Typically you can get some real helpful techniques in 1-2 sessions.
• The tough choice. If it is unbearable you need to change your viewpoint or move out of the environment. This may seem like a horrible solution to the problem, but some workplace environments are too toxic and it’s not worth your mental or physical health.

Consumer Reports Endorses Therapy

2010-06-06T09:17:00.004-05:00

A 2010 Consumer Reports survey reveals the power of therapy...

One of the most respected consumer protection groups has now endorsed talk therapy as a means of lowering stress, anxiety and depression.

1500 participants took part in a 3-year study reported in the June 2010 issue of Consumer Reports. The findings concluded two important elements. First of all, respondents who attended AT LEAST 7 sessions had marked improvement in their anxiety and depressive symptoms. And those who took medication in correlation with therapy had the highest improvement. Secondly, the "type of therapist" did not matter. Whether a psychologist, social worker, or professional counselor, the therapy had identical results in the helpfullness ratings.

The survey also concluded that anxiety was up for Americans with 58% reporting symptoms in 2010 compared to 41% to 2004.

Consumer Reports went on to say that counseling was "a good investment. Talk therapy offers two advantages over medication: no drug side effects and tools you can use for the long term. People who struck with talk therapy for a least 7 sessions had significantly better outcomes than those who went six or fewer sessions.

Victim or VICTOR?

2010-06-04T10:47:00.003-05:00

Happiness – How you look at life has a powerful effect on your mood

In our last Happiness segment we discussed being grateful and the power of seeing the positive elements of our life. Tonight we will expand on how we look at life, and just what we can do to enhance some of the techniques related to our inner thoughts.

What can you tell us about American’s view of their life?
• A survey in by Keyes in 2005 showed that 54% of Americans say they are just moderately happy and that they feel they lack the enthusiasm for life
• These Americans say they have touched happiness but don’t know how to recreate that feeling
• Lastly, the research of shows that Americans feel like they are stuck and in a rut
So what can we offer our audience to enhance their happiness ratio and get them out of their rut?
• We’ve talked about the importance of seeing life through a half-full vs. half empty glass
• We’ve discussed being grateful as a means of seeing the world in a different way
• But, one important key to breaking out of a rut is changing your thinking related to being a VICTIM vs being a VICTOR
• Unconsciously many of us look at our job, our relationships, our government, and the world as hostile and a place where someone else is exerting pressure, control or power over our life
• Happy people have one important trait—they BELIEVE THEY HOLD THE POWER TO CHANGE THEIR OWN CORNER OF THE WORLD. HAPPY PEOPLE SEE THEIR CHOICES AND BELIEF THAT CHALLENGES ARE NOTHING MORE THAN OPPORTUNITES TO GROW.

So what is our assignment for this next week?
This may be a hard one for many of you out there, but this week I would ask you to commit to looking at yourself no longer as the victim, but someone who has the creativity to discover your own power. I challenge you to look for a solution versus placing blame…

COMMIT: I’m asking you to find just one challenging thing that upsets you each day and instead of letting it control your mood, CHANGE YOUR VIEWPOINT- PUT ON A DIFFERENT SET OF GLASSES in 2010 and brainstorm some creative ways to change the way you look at the situation so you see options and possibilities…Then take the risk to act on those possibilities and make a empowering change.

Gratitude... can you commit to it?

2010-05-12T15:33:00.001-05:00

Religions and philosophy have focused on tonight’s happiness topic. The Happiness Matters technique of GRATITUDE has been viewed as one of the most important component of health, well-being and inner serenity—but also one of the most forgotten virtues.

Tell us a little about Research related to gratitude and it it effects our physical and emotional well-being.
• The findings from the University of California’s Research Project on Gratitude has some startling statistics.
• Those who keep a simple gratitude journal on a weekly basis tend to exercise more, have fewer physical problems and are more optimistic about life
• People who keep gratitude journals or lists tend to have a greater achievement level on their own personal goals whether academic, work related, interpersonal or health based
• Those who participate in a 21-day gratitude plan noted a higher rate of positive mood, a greater sense of closeness to others, became more optimistic, had better and deeper sleep patterns.
• Those who practice gratitude journaling have higher rates of life satisfaction, vitality and lower levels of depression.
• Children who practice gratitude thinking and practice have been shown to be more positive in their attitudes about school and their family.

So what is our Happiness Matters assignment for this week?
• Count your blessings. Experiencing and expressing gratitude has been shown to raise your happiness quotient. If you see goodness around you it is proven that you will see your life in a happier and healthier fashion. Goal: Commit to reflect daily on 5 things for which you are grateful. So for one week we are asking you to keep a daily list of 5 things that you are grateful for and start your own happiness journal. Then we’d love to hear your response to this assignment. Just go to my blog and tell us a little about how these assignments are changing your life.--- because your happiness matters and we can change your life for the better.

Getting older or getting better?

2010-05-05T07:59:00.003-05:00

Getting older doesn’t have to mean that you aren’t getting better. Tonight we are going to look at a couple of recent studies and see what helps middle age American’s thrive and survive.

Tell us about the first study related to middle aged Americans.
• 5000 adults were studied for 20 years and British study showed that middle- aged people could age you by a dozen years by missing 4 key elements.
• The habits that were essential to living longer were simple things: not smoking, limiting alcohol consumption, exercise and healthy diet
• The study results suggested that those who don’t smoke or have quit; men who have fewer than 3 drinks & less than 2 for women; those who ate 3 fruits and vegetables, and those who exercised 2 hours a week lived longer

What else did we learn from this study?
• It is the simple things that really can make a difference
• We talk about these elements in many of our segments, but we have to make the commitment to these tenets if we want to live longer and healthier

You had mentioned another study, will you tell us about the results of that study.
• A University of Montreal, April 2010 study showed that baby boomers (those born from 1946-1964) are among the most self-reliant generation
• Boomers can retiring healthy, wealthy and have a desire to travel in their golden years
• Boomers are seen as those who will change our health care system utilizing private nurses to live independently if ill, and have made life-long plans to live their golden years and plan to stay self-reliant, not expecting their children to care for them.
• Clearly these two studies show we can effect our future with some common healthy options and creating a plan for self-security.

Happiness Matters- Change your mind...

2010-04-29T15:53:00.001-05:00

Your happiness matters. Tonight we have our second installment of our new Happiness Segments. Our first week we committed to changing our focus and actually smiling and saying hello to strangers, as a means of enhancing our life as well as others. Let’s discuss how that assignment went for our audience.

What was the response to the first segment on smiling?
• Anonymous: Just smiling changed everything for me
• Ron said: I’d like to put those smiley faces everywhere in my office. I think it would change everyone’s outlook
• Ella said: Loved the assignment and even called people to say hello
• The newsroom. Everyone got a kick out of the smiley faces and they all seemed to smile more and laugh just by seeing the smile
So what element of happiness are we looking at tonight?
• Tonight we are looking at the correlation of Happiness & age.
• A 2008 study of 28,000 people from ages 18-88 showed that older Americans are happiest
• Older people are more content with what they have than younger people
• Older people have lower expectations and accept their own achievements
• 2009 study from University of California showed that older people tend to avoid stress leading to less negative emotions.
• Older adults tend to spend more time thinking about past happy events than negative events.
• Most importantly **** the odds of being happy increases 5% with every 10 years of age.
Wow, it sounds like older people may have some real techniques related to happiness. So what is our Happiness Matters assignment for tonight?
• Older people have lower expectations and tend to think in terms of optimism or happier events versus having negative thoughts
• COMMIT: Try to focus on the things that are going well in your life. Commit to trying to change your inner message by focusing on the happy events in your life. Each night before bed make mental note of 5 positive events in your day. Do this for a week and you’ll discover you have raised your happiness ratio! Learn from those who know—focusing on happy events lowers your stress level, changes your outlook, and changes your world!!

Are you a GenY-er?

2010-04-27T19:21:00.002-05:00

GenY, GenMe or Millenials… whatever you call them…they have some different views on the world than the previous generation. Tonight we will look at some of the characteristics of those who are the Millennials—from the age of 18-29.

What are some of the priorities of Millennials?
• Millennials define themselves as technology focused
• They define themselves by their music and pop culture
• They see themselves as liberal and tolerant
• They view themselves as smarter than past generations
• They see their work ethic as different than past generations

• Most GenYers are generally more confident, upbeat and open to change
What do you mean that their work ethic is different?
• The previous generation—the Xers who were born in the 1970s were seen as slackers, and the Boomers defined themselves by their jobs--but the Millenials value their leisure time
• GenY folks say they want a job with an easy pace and lots of vacation time
• GenY people don’t really want to work overtime
• They want jobs where they can make friends- which is very important to them
• GenY see work as less central to their lives yet they want to have big salaries and status (perhaps suggesting they want their cake and eat it too)

If you are working with a GenYer, what tips would you give?
• Realize that they are not defined by their job, so change your expectations or look for someone else who might have the job expectations that you desire
• GenYers are team players and work well in goods. You can use this to your advance by teaming them up to produce.
• GenYers need some assistance with personal communication skills and following procedures in an exact format. Take the time to teach them how to go through all the steps of a job and be specific.
• Remember that GenYers want something different than past generations and they will value time sharing, working part-time and being more flexible with work hours that might help you save money due to economic concerns.

Our own HAPPINESS PROJECT!!!!!

2010-04-14T12:31:00.003-05:00

Tonight we begin our bi-weekly happiness segments on WEEK-TV. We have some new promo commercials that will be running and we hope we can get your commitment to bring some happiness into your life.

The following is the transcript of the segment and you can check it out verbatim. We ask you this week to do something simple... JUST COMMIT TO SMILING AND SAYING HI TO 5 STRANGERS EACH DAY.

We know this will bring a change within your life in in the next week, and we'd like to hear about your response. Just click below and tell us your experience by committing to this simple technique. We'd love to have you add your comments to the blog and we will be sharing some of your comments on the show in the following weeks.

Here's the segment and the specific GOAL TO ENHANCE YOUR HAPPINESS QUOTIENT.

Your Happiness Matters and tonight we will focus on a brand addition to our Dr. Joy segment. (April 14th)

Gina: Can you tell us a little bit about our new addition?

Joy:
• We’d like to bring some happiness into your life, and with some simple suggestions and your commitment, you’ll be able to really see a change in your life
• Every other week we will focus on Happiness and some current research related to simple techniques that can enhance your Happiness quotient.
• The tips may seem simple, but research has shown these simple changes will make a real difference in your life as you begin your own Happiness Project.

Gina: This sounds like a wonderful addition to our mental health segment. I know we can all use a little happiness in our life, so where should we begin.

Joy: Let’s start with a simple smile.
• Mother Theresa said “peace beings with a smile.” So let’s work on some inner peace.
• Researchers have shown that the facial muscles used in creating the simple act of smiling triggers special brain neurotransmitters that release endorphins and immune boosting T-cells.
• The simple act of smiling
1. lowers our stress hormones
2. produces hormones that stabilizes our blood pressure
3. improves respiration
4. reduces pain
5. speeds up healing
6. lowers our chance of depression
7. Creates a change to stabilize and enhance our mood.
It takes 62 muscles to frown and only 26 muscles to smile….

Gina: So what is our commitment goal for the week?

Joy: Our goal for the week is to COMMIT TO SMILING AND SAYING HI TO 5 STRANGERS EACH DAY FOR A WEEK.
• It’s a simple as that- but you just need to commit to the change.
• If you’d like to share your experiences you can go to WEEK.com and go to ASKDRJOY and click the blog icon and share your response to this exercise on the blog, and hopefully we can share some of your comments during our Happiness segments.
• Your happiness matters and WEEK and I are dedicated to helping you make some empowering changes.

New study reveals info about abuse

2010-04-13T13:35:00.003-05:00

A new study has been released that looks at why women stay with their abusers. You might find the study revealing.

Go to http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/04/13/despite-abuse-women-stand-by-their-man/12791.html

Teen Years Explained

2010-04-11T20:23:00.002-05:00

A new book has just been released dealing with some of the common myths about teens. The book looks quite interesting.

Here are some excerpt from the book...

Popular Myths about Teenagers:

Myth: Teens are bigger risk-takers and thrill-seekers than adults. Fact: Teens perceive more risk than adults do in certain areas, such as the chance of getting into an accident if they drive with a drunk driver.

Myth: Young people only listen to their friends. Fact: Young people report that their parents or a caring adult are their greatest influence - especially when it comes to sexual behavior.

Myth: Adolescents live to push your buttons. Fact: Adolescents may view conflict as a way of expressing themselves, while adults take arguments personally.

Myth: When you're a teenager, you can eat whatever you want and burn it off. Fact: Obesity rates have tripled for adolescents since 1980.

Myth: Teens don't need sleep. Fact: Teens need as much sleep or more than they got as children - 9 to 10 hours is optimum.

To read the article about the new publication go to: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/184958.php

Quick Rewards Win Out

2010-04-05T16:29:00.003-05:00

Despite the fact that we have a society that is called the Information Age, it seems that the quick reward tends to win out over informed decisions. Despite the fact that we know we should exercise more, eat better, spend less... we still tend to make decisions based on what feels good and make poor choices much of the time.

The new research research from the University of Texas is a compelling study that shows our happiness in the short term might just collide with good decision making.

To read more go to: http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/04/02/too-much-information-can-lead-to-poor-choices/12554.html

Wonderful article-- Must read

2010-04-04T06:37:00.004-05:00

As you may have noticed, I love to find great things to post online. I found this wonderful article about 5 quotes and thought I would share it in it's entirety with you. It is a great article by E. Goldstein, Phd, (quotes only) Enjoy!

5 Quotes that Can Change Your Life!
By ELISHA GOLDSTEIN, PH.D.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” ~ Victor Frankl

“Amidst the worldly comings and goings, observe how endings become beginnings.” ~ Tao Te Ching

“You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” ~ Albert Einstein

“You see everything is about belief, whatever we believe rules our existence, rules our life.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

“What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters to what lies within us.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

Ok, one extra:

Hence, there is a time to go ahead and a time to stay behind.

There is a time to breathe easy and a time to breathe hard.

There is a time to be vigorous and a time to be gentle.

There is a time to gather and a time to release.

Can you see things as they are

And let them be all on their own?

~ Lao-tzu

A surprise is coming!

2010-04-03T07:39:00.001-05:00

There is something exciting coming to my segment on WEEK-TV on Wednesdays. Let's just say it will make you smile, and the new change will happen every other week, so tune in and discover the surprise. It just might make you a bit happier!

Older is BETTER

2010-04-03T07:34:00.002-05:00

Here's some great news... if you are around the age of 60 your self esteem is probably really the highest it has ever been. A new research study shows that our esteem peaks at age 60 and declines slightly as we get older.

Here's some important quotes "“Specifically, we found that people who have higher incomes and better health in later life tend to maintain their self-esteem as they age,” said Orth.

“We cannot know for certain that more wealth and better health directly lead to higher self-esteem, but it does appear to be linked in some way. For example, it is possible that wealth and health are related to feeling more independent and better able to contribute to one’s family and society, which in turn bolsters self-esteem.”

People of all ages in satisfying and supportive relationships tend to have higher self-esteem, according to the findings. However, despite maintaining higher self-esteem throughout their lives, people in happy relationships experienced the same drop in self-esteem during old age as people in unhappy relationships.

“Although they enter old age with higher self-esteem and continue to have higher self-esteem as they age, they decline in self-esteem to the same extent as people in unhappy relationships,” said co-author Kali H. Trzesniewski, PhD, of the University of Western Ontario."

Isn't it great to know that getting older, is getting better :-)

Read the entire article at: http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/04/02/self-esteem-peaks-in-middle-age/12550.html

Medication compliance

2010-04-01T16:37:00.002-05:00

It seems we might be more compliant at different times in our life. A new research study looks at those who are medication compliant and those who aren't. The reasons may surprise you....

For more information go to http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/03/31/how-to-improve-medication-compliance/12483.html

Importance of mother-son relationships

2010-03-27T07:09:00.004-05:00

A new study confirms that emotional well-being is enhanced by a strong relationship between mother and son.

The study notes:
Dr. Pasco Fearon said: “The central question we posed was whether attachment insecurity was associated with behavior problems across all the studies conducted to date. The results showed quite clearly that the answer to this question is a firm yes.

“More specifically, our analysis showed that children with insecure attachments to their mothers, particularly boys, had significantly more behavioral problems, even when the behavioral problems were measured years later."

So cherish each moment with your child, it will pay off a thousand-fold in the future, and for you as a parent, each moment.

http://www.apa.org/news/psycport/PsycPORTArticle.aspx?id=ap_2010_03_09_ap.online.all_D9EBA6JO1_news_ap_org.anpa.xml

Is Anger getting the best of you?

2010-03-24T18:28:00.002-05:00

Are some people just born angry or is it a behavior that is learned. Tonight we will explore some recent research related to anger and a behavior that you can’t afford to ignore.

Is anger something that is genetic or is it a behavioral disorder?
• Mental health professionals typically classify anger is a normal feeling, but when the actions are severe or it turns outward it is then classified as a disorder that is learned or behavioral
• Anger is usually accompanied with feelings of depression, shame, guilt, anxiety or bipolar disorder
• Many times anger is classified as Intermittent Explosive disorder when anger is against people or property out of proportion.
• Estimated that 1/20 have Intermittent Explosive disorder (mostly men) and is treated with talk therapy and some antidepressants
• Many researchers believe that anger is correlated with impulsive control disorder
What if you anger is out of check, and things escalate? What things can YOU do to calm yourself down?
• Count. The old adage was correct. Breathe, and count and allow yourself to calm down. When you are angry your blood pressure goes up. Take deep breathes and try to calm down.
• Reframe the situation into a way that is not so hurtful
• Become aware of what makes you mad. Learn to identify your triggers and learn ways to calm yourself down when you realize you are being triggered
• Talk to yourself in a new way. Change the message so you are not the victim.
• Try not to think of past affronts or past injustices and focus on how to calm yourself down
• Never use alcohol. Drinking or drugging when you are mad will only make things worse.
• Will this matter tomorrow? Slow down and decide if this will matter to you tomorrow or next week.

Many times people lose their temper with their significant other. What are some tips to keep your anger in check?
• Call a “time out” if things start to get out of hand. Leave the situation for 30 minutes and come back to discuss
• Leave the room and get some distance
• Come back and try to acknowledge what you think the other person was saying
• Try to compromise or negiotate and look for win-win

15,000 !!!!! Be a winner!!!!!

2010-03-21T07:20:00.003-05:00

Help us hit our 15,000 hits to our new blog site. If you are the 15,000 person to come to our site, we will send you a free copy of one of my most recent books (see the blog site for titles). All you have to do is place a comment in this column if you are the lucky 15,000 person and note contact info and you win.

Book winner will get autographed copy of book by author.

(free book will be choice of Cancer Help Book, or I Can See Her Haunting Eyes)

Your Well-being

2010-03-18T17:10:00.003-05:00

Great article on the 5 essentials of well-being. The elements discussed are:
1. Connect with other
2. To be active
3. Take notice of surroundings
4. Keep learning
5. Give to your neighbors and community

To read this great article, please go to http://positivepsychologynews.com/news/timothy-so/2010031810036

Weight.... wait.... it might be related to your friends

2010-03-18T09:03:00.005-05:00

A new study shows that teen girls determine if they are "normal" or overweight by comparing themselves with their peers. Many had believed the ideal weight was established by celeb looks or media impressions, but current research indicates that the school enviornment, and the weight of fellow teens have the greatest impact on image related to weight.

For more information go to : http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/03/17/teen-girls-look-to-peers-as-weight-models/12195.html

GenY... are they different than you and me?

2010-03-13T18:32:00.004-05:00

Are you in the GenY generation? That means you were born in the mid to late 1980s. If so, you may have a different philosophy about work and life that the GenXers or those of us who are baby boomers.

It seems you want more vacations, more leisure time, and substantial pay and promotions. GenYers see work as a means of "making a living" and not their whole existence (the philosophy of past generations).

GenYers are also more civic minded and want to help others.

To learn more go to http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/03/11/how-values-of-geny-workers-differ/12046.html

Enhancing Your Relationship

2010-03-11T15:15:00.001-05:00

Everyone wants to have the perfect relationship, but are you doing what it takes to create that type of relationship in your life? Before you can have a healthy relationship, it is essential that you know what it looks like, and realize that it takes devotion and work Tonight we will explore the topic and give you some ideas to enhance your life.

We all want good relationships, but why do so many relationships fail?
• People fail to put in the work and devotion that is needed in a relationship. Whatever is valuable to you takes time, commitment and practice. If you want a relationship to endure, you must be willing to value what it takes to maintain its health.

What are some of the key components of a healthy relationship?
• A relationship that is built on negotiation and compromise
• A relationship that accepts differences versus one that demands changes in your partner
• A relationship in which each person can see the other through his or her individual points of view.
• A relationship that shows respect, honor and commitment

Conflicts arise in every relationship, but what are some tips for those who want to handle them effectively?
• Deal with one issue at a time. It might be tempting to go through all of your grievances in the midst of an argument, but deal with one thing at a time to resolve conflict
• Really listen to your partner. Focus on really “hearing” what your partner is saying vs. focusing on your response or defending your position
• Edit your conversation. Just because you think something, you don’t have to say it. Decide if saying something is helpful, non-hurtful, and meaningful to the conversation
• Realize sometimes it is best to just move on. It might be hard to admit, but sometimes there just isn’t a solution, and the best decision is to just “agree to disagree.”
• Look for a win-win philosophy. Healthy relationships have no losers. Each person should feel heard, and feel as though they both are winners in the relationship discussion.
• Fight fair. The key is to focus on the fact that you love your partner and remember there is no hitting below the belt. That means, no name-calling, no attacking, no hitting, and accepting your part in the disagreement.

Happiness project- wonderful site!!!!

2010-03-11T12:30:00.002-05:00

Add some happiness to your life!

Kindness is contagious!

2010-03-10T16:16:00.002-05:00

Acts of kindness really do make a difference. A March 2010 study reveals that people really do "pay it forward" when they witness an act of kindness. In fact, acts of kindness are contagious.

So join the contagious behaviors and do something wonderful for someone today. It will change your life, as well as theirs.

To read more go to http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/03/100308151049.htm

We've got lots to share

2010-03-09T14:11:00.000-05:00

We do have a lot to share...We have a new look and some new and exciting ways for you to access some important and useful services that can enhance your life and well-being.

First of all, please notice our new logo, which integrates our belief in the importance of growth and the integration of the connection between our mind, body and spirit. We’ve also integrated our focus on counseling & our enhanced wellness services in our new logo.

But there’s more...now you can download a free copy of our monthly newsletter, which focuses on a new mental health topic in depth... and it’s so easy for you to access. Just go to www.joymiller.com and you will discover our newsletter on the entry page of our website. We are going green, and eco-friendly, so you can read it online and help save our planet. Additionally, you can click the Wellness Icon along the top and find our current schedule for our yoga, meditation, massage and workshops that are conducted in our Joyful Living Studio.

But, there is still more. Many of you watch Dr. Joy on WEEK-TV on Wednesdays at 5pm, and now you can download the entire segment from our website. All you need to do is click the Blog Icon and you will find the weekly segment, as well as articles on mental health that are updated at least three times a week. You will be up to date on mental health news as it is released. You can also join our twitter site at askdrjoy and access daily updates online.

Reset your brain

2010-03-08T13:20:00.002-05:00

Meditation has been shown to reset our brain to a restful state of mind.

You can learn meditation in our Joyful Living Studio every Tuesday night. To access the monthly schedule of events, just go to www.joymiller.com and click the WELLNESS icon along the top. Click the schedule and you can discover more about meditation as well as our massage, yoga and workshop offerings.

For more information concerning the research related to brains resetting due to meditation, go to http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/03/05/transcendental-meditation-resets-brain/11899.html

Low of sleep could be deadly!

2010-03-08T13:14:00.002-05:00

Sleep might have more of an impact on your well-being that you had originally believed. A new study shows that those who do not attain adequate sleep also have fat build-up around their vital organs.

Add this information to other issues related to obesity and genetic factors, and you might be a statistic ready to happen.

For more information, please go to http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/03/100301091302.htm

Love... Love ya do!

2010-03-06T18:07:00.001-05:00

We may be past Valentine’s Day, but it is certain that everyone loves being in love. Your heart races and all you can think about is your significant other—in the best way possible. But what really happens when you fall in love? Tonight we will take a look at that phenomenon and put some research behind the feelings.

What do we know about love from purely a physiological basis?
• Typically your heart starts to race due to an adrenaline rush. This happens when the brain sends a signal to the adrenal gland and it secrets hormones such as adrenaline, epinephrine and norepinephrine. These flow through the blood stream and the heart beats faster
• The norepinephrine, which is a stress hormone makes you feel weak in the knees
• By using brain imagining we have learned that people who are “madly in love” found activity in the brain that produces dopamine and that gives you focused attention, the craving, euphoria, the energy and motivation.
• Some believe that serotonin levels rise and this activates obsessive thinking
• Researchers have also shown that cortisol levels, which is a stress hormone, increases for 30 minutes at the thought of a picture of their loved one.

Are there are positive effects of being in love?
• Love makes people feel optimistic, energetic and motivated
• People who are in love live longer, have fewer heart problems, and lower blood pressure
• 1995 study showed that people who are married adds 7 years to a man’s life and 2 years to a woman’s life.

Could you give us a few tips to enhance our love life?
• Make love a priority. Find the time to make your love relationship a key aspect of your life.
• Love the person, not the potential. Be realistic about the person you love. If you are looking to change them, then you are looking to lose at love
• Be present. By that I mean that be focused on the relationship and the other person vs. other things in your life.
• Be your best self. Be honest about who you are, and be willing to give your relationship all of you in a healthy way.

Are you a dog or a cat person?

2010-03-04T19:03:00.001-05:00

There are research studies that are focused on everything. Tonight we will share current research that really correlates if you are a dog person or a cat person. So lets discover the differences…

Tell us about the study and what they discovered.
• 4500 people were in the survey and they took the Gosling-Potter Personality test
• Dog people tend to be more social and outgoing
• Dog people are more extraverts, agreeable, and conscientious
• Cat people tend to be more neurotic but open—meaning they are creative,
philosophical or nontraditional
• Cat people are more independent and like to do their own thing

Sometimes people actually look like their pets—does this effect if people pick a dog?
• A British Columbia study showed that women with long hair like spaniels and beagles, and women with short hair like short eared basenjis and huskies (both short ears and hair)
• Another study showed that participants could match photographs of owners to their purebred dogs 67% of the time based on appearance alone
• Results suggested that people pick dogs that look like them
• And there could be lots of say about this study…. hahaha

We do love out pets, but from a psychological standpoint, what do pets do for us?
• Pets provide a sense of security and protection (trust someone is always around)
• Pets are friends (helps with loneliness)
• Pets ease loss ( people with pets are less likely to experience deterioration
in health following stressful events)
• Pets encourage us to become more active (go for more walks and generally are
more active than those without pets)
• Pets encourage people to take better care of themselves (generally people take
better care of their pet and themselves because they have something to love and
nurture)

The evil forces and darkness

2010-03-02T10:18:00.002-05:00

Darkness might effect your moral compass. It may sound strange, but new research indicates the darkness can effect your choices to be ethical or...

Interesting study that will make you say... hummmmmm

PTSD and your genes

2010-03-01T10:00:00.002-05:00

A new study shows that your genes may effect your ability to cope with extreme stress that produces Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in others. This remarkable study indicates why some suffer with PTSD while others do not... even when they experience the same trauma.

Read more at http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/02/26/experts-study-survivors-for-ptsd-insights/11739.html

Your relationship can lead to a stroke

2010-02-25T16:29:00.003-05:00

Unhappy in your marriage? It can kill you. A recent Israeli study of 10,000 men found that single men and unhappy husbands are at greater risk of dying from a stroke. There are numerous reasons that lead to this finding,including the fact that dysfuncational relationalships take a toll on our body.

To learn more go to http://abcnews.go.com/print?id=9920505

Your Happiness...

2010-02-21T12:29:00.003-05:00

A new study shows that those who are happy have less cardiac problems than those who are unhappy. So, once again your happiness level effects your physical health.

To read more about the study and how your enhanced happiness is essential, go to:
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE61H00K20100218?feedType=RSS&feedName=healthNews&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+reuters/healthNews+(News+/+US+/+Health+News)&utm_content=Google+Reader

What... Vacations Don't Help Us?

2010-02-20T09:26:00.003-05:00

A new study reports that vacations don't really enhance our happiness ratio. OMG- How can this be true? The report states that during the anticipation stage and during the vacation, we are happier, but our happiness ratio after the vacation is no higher than those who did not vacation.

Gulp... is says perhaps we are a smidge happier for a whole two weeks. So, here's the solution. Stay on vacation! Yes, stay on vacation... either physically (oh, do we need to work? haha) or at least in your mind. By that I mean- you need to keep thinking of all the fun you had on the vacation and thinking of good things you did during the vacation. Those acts will keep your happiness level sustained.

For more information on the study, go to http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/02/19/vacation-unlikely-to-improve-overall-happiness/11593.html

Your Heart will Love it if you are Happy

2010-02-18T20:23:00.003-05:00

Here's the proof! Happy people are 22% less likely to have heart problems than those people who are unhappy.

Sounds like a great reason to try to enhance your happiness quotient. For more information on the study, go to http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/02/17/happiness-may-protect-against-heart-disease/11565.html

For additional information on happiness tips go through all of the articles on the blog related to happiness.

Is it time to apologize?

2010-02-15T10:51:00.001-05:00

Did you once call someone a name that really affected them for the rest of their life? Did you stand someone up when they were expecting you to pick them up for a date? Did you lie to your boss when you actually did do something that affected the company in a dramatic way? Well, many people are now doing what appears to be the “in” thing… making apologies for things that happened long ago.

Dr. Joy you’ve brought us some research regarding “decade-late apologies.” What is this new phenomenon?
• With so much social networking people are able to find others via Facebook, My space and other methods and can access them years later
• With email people feel braver and less inhibited to make apologies that they might not make in person
• There are an influx of new websites such as PerfectApology.com and PublicApology.com where people can learn tips and even post their apology to those they have harmed.

From a therapeutic viewpoint, how do you feel about these types of apologies?
• Obviously, apologies would be much better if they are done in person vs. via email and never via a public forum
• It’s important that the person understands why they are seeking to make an apology—if you are doing it for a response or some sort of forgiveness from the person you harm, you are doing it with the wrong objective
• If you are willing to make the apology as an act of making amends and you are willing to have no expectations for the results, then it is healthy option.

What are the keys or steps of a healthy apology whether it is for someone you harmed in the past, or for something in the present?
• Detail what happened in detail
• Acknowledge that you hurt or damaged the person
• Take responsibility for your actions and take responsibility for your part in the situation
• Make a statement of regret (the apology)
• Ask for forgiveness
• Make a promise it will not happen again
• Make some form of restitution whenever possible

Remember that it is never to late to apologize, but doing it now versus later might save you in the long run.

Jealousy... the green eyed monster

2010-02-15T10:48:00.003-05:00

Jealous feelings can dramatically dampen intimacy and your marriage. A February article looks at the research and you might find this an interesting read.

http://www.businessweek.com/lifestyle/content/healthday/635911.html

Random Acts

2010-02-15T09:38:00.002-05:00

Research indicates that performing a random act of kindness is a happiness enhancer and boosts your mood. Well, this week is the perfect time to do it, because February 15 begins "Random Acts of Kindness Week."

So go out and do something special.

Here's something free from us to you. Go to www.joymiller.com and you can download a newsletter on Happiness... absolutely free.

Sending happiness your way.

Telling your boss what you think

2010-02-13T19:48:00.003-05:00

Telling your boss what you think might actually be a healthy option. A study presented at the British Psychological Society showed that employees who were able to talk to their boss about stressors at work were actually healthier. The study was conducted with employees who were able to rate their line managers. Managers improved their management styles and the employees saw it as a stress reducer.

Before you take this approach, take a look at the article at: http://www.vancouversun.com/life/Being+straight+with+your+boss+cuts+stress+Study/2441001/story.html

Here's a Remedy for Anxiety!

2010-02-13T10:05:00.005-05:00

Here's some wonderful news for those who suffer from low to moderate anxiety. Drinking chamomile tea may actually lower your anxiety levels. The herbal remedy has always been noted as something with calming tendencies, but now a study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychopharmacology has stated that chamomile has been found helpful for mild to moderate GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder).

So get the water pot going and brew up some tea today...

To read more, got to http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/02/12/chamomile-for-anxiety/11400.html

Women prefer kind men

2010-02-11T15:41:00.002-05:00

Well, the facts are in. Research now shows that women prefer men who are klind and altruistic. So forget that old saying that "Good guys never win"-- because it seems the kind guys in life really do get the girl!

To read more about the study written up in the British Journal of Psychology go to :
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/178861.php

Sleep deprivation can distort your mind...

2010-02-11T15:32:00.002-05:00

There is a new Washington State University study on sleep that states that sleep deprivation affects our our means of processing cognitive functions. Our memory may be intact after sleep deprivation, but we are incapable of processing that memory effectively. This means we may remember, but the brain will distort the information due to sleep deprivation.

As noted in previous blogs on this site, take some time to look over some of the important techniques for enhancing your sleep and getting a good night's rest.

For more information on this study, please go to http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/02/11/new-thoughts-on-sleep-deprivation/11371.html